What is Human?

The pounding in her skull awakened Willow and she blinked at the bright lights that assaulted her stinging eyes. Coughing suddenly, her mouth dry, she closed her eyes tightly shut and curled into a ball. Slowly her mind began to sort the sensory perceptions. There was a bright light shining on her. Her entire body ached, especially her head. Her mouth tasted like the driest, dustiest cotton. She lay on something soft. Cool air conditioning blew across her skin, which made her realize that her jeans and sweater were gone, replaced by something...less.

Forcing her eyes open, she found herself in a white cube of a room, except for the wall in front of her which was mirrored from floor to ceiling with a white door at one corner. The only furniture was the twin hospital type bed she lay upon.

Her memories returned like a swarm of bees, and she clutched her head, groaning. Someone had hit her with the butt of a gun. One of those commandos.

One of those commandos who had captured Spike!

Ignoring the pain, Willow scrambled from the bed and ran to the door. She pulled futility on the knob, then turned to the mirrors and yelled, "Let me out!"

*****

Behind the mirrors, three sets of eyes watched her every move, studying, calculating. Computers hummed as information was processed, and a panel full of lights glowed.

"Her stress levels just shot up," a middle aged man in a white lab coat said.

Professor Walsh nodded absently, her eyes never leaving the girl pacing around the room.

Only when the door behind her opened, did she turn her attention away from Willow. A technician came in and handed her a computer print-out. She scanned it quickly, and a small smile formed on her face.

"This is very interesting."

"Do we get to let her go now?" Riley asked, unable to keep the anxiety from his voice.

"I know you liked the girl, Riley. So did I. But, she's not human."

Riley stared at his mentor in disbelief, then snatched the test results from her. He read them three times, his heart sinking more each time. "94.7%. She's 94.7% human. Can't we..." One shake from Walsh's head stopped him from continuing. He flung the report down on the counter top in disgust. "She's point three percent away from us not being able to hold her. Buffy's right. *You're* not human."

"Agent Finn," Walsh snapped. He shut up, but continued to glare at her, and she softened her voice. "Riley, I, too, am distressed by this turn of events. I had high hopes for Ms. Rosenberg. I'd thought to recruit her as a technician or computer specialist. But, even if she was 95% human, she was found with a hostile subterrestrial in her dorm room, and it protected her. In fact..."

"I know," Riley interrupted. "I was there." He turned and looked back through the two way mirror, watching Willow pace, her brow furrowed. She appeared to be deep in thought. "I'm going to go look in on the hostile," he said, as he rose to his feet and was out of the room before anyone could stop him.

He entered an identical room right next door. Two technicians were there entering data, occasionally glancing up at the vampire who paced in a pattern eerily similar to Willow's. As they had already run medical tests on him, they hadn't bothered putting him in a hospital gown, so with every step his leather duster swirled around him like a cape. Forrest sat at the far end of the room, feet propped up on the counter.

"He's one pissed off vamp," Forrest commented as Riley took a seat next to him.

"Has he maintained his human form the whole time?"

"Yep. How's the girl?"

"Pacing."

"Is she...a girl?"

Riley shook his head slowly. "94.7% only."

Forrest whistled softly. "Tough luck for her. What's demonic about her?"

"Something in her blood. Some enzyme."

"Could it be foreign matter? Something that's been introduced into her blood?"

Riley shrugged. "Doesn't really matter now. It's a part of her system and it's changed her. We just don't know how, yet."

"Well, no question about this one. He's a vampire, through and through."

"Yeah, but I've never seen one who can maintain his human facade for so long. Has he eaten?"

"Nope. Refuses the blood. Maybe he knows it's drugged."

The two men watched the vampire pace from one end of the room to the other, moving with an animalistic grace.

"I wasn't imagining things, was I Ri? He really tried to protect the girl?"

"He called her by name, told her to stay in the room, that he wouldn't let us hurt her."

"He escaped this compound and instead of going underground, he went to a dorm. Do you think they could be..." The look on Riley's face stopped Forrest from continuing.

"That's disgusting. Even is she's not quite human, he's a corpse."

"Necrophilia..." Riley shot him another look and Forrest raised his hands defensively. "Hey, everyone is thinking it. And, you know, she rooms with your girlfriend."

"Buffy's not my girlfriend."

"Uh huh."

*****

Spike finally ran out of curse words, having gone through at least a dozen different human languages and several demonic ones. Finally, he stopped pacing and stared at the mirrored wall. They were behind there, watching him, probably jotting down notes.

He couldn't believe he was back here! He'd managed to escape and, as soon as night had fallen, he'd gone straight to Willow's, only to be recaptured.

And...Willow...He'd seen her fall, a heavy gun crashing into her head. He'd yelled and fought and kicked, and they'd stunned him into unconsciousness. When he'd awakened...he'd been here. He wasn't quite sure how much time had passed, but probably several hours.

He was hungry, but he knew the blood was drugged and he needed to have his full faculties in place if he was to find Willow and escape.

He also wanted to determine why when he had hit those military guys, his head had nearly exploded. When he had hit the technician earlier, nothing had happened. Maybe the soldiers used some kind of spell or repellent field or something...

*****

Willow finally tired of pacing and climbed back up on the bed, sitting and facing the mirrored wall. "I hope you're having fun watching me. I'm going to sue your asses off when I get out of here. I'm an American citizen, born and bred and voting and everything, and I haven't broken any laws, so your holding me illegally."

She really wanted to ask about Spike, but knew that probably wasn't a good idea. Maybe he'd gotten away. She rubbed her sore head, trying to remember the chain of events.

Sometime before dawn the morning before, she'd been awakened by a panicking Drusilla. Spike had been missing for twenty four hours. Willow joined her in panicking, then met up with Buffy and they began searching. Finally, two nights later, Buffy had sent Willow home to get some rest and try to do both their homework, while she kept searching.

Spike had shown up, and they'd barely been in the middle of a huge amount of happy kissing and groping with a smattering of explanations thrown in when the lights had gone out.

Everything after that was kind of hazy. The door had been broken down and then soldiers had stormed in and grabbed her and...She'd screamed for Spike. He'd yelled for her. Then everything had gone black.

Well, she could be reassured by the knowledge that Buffy and the gang would keep searching and now...

Absently she rubbed her neck, and her eyes widened. Ever since she had awakened and sat up the first time, she had felt that something was wrong. Now, she knew what it was.

"Give me back my collar," she screamed, her face white in shock. They'd taken it off. Only Spike could do that. It hadn't been off in nearly eight months. She'd noticed that her engagement ring was missing, but that hadn't concerned her. But, her collar...

*****

In the computer room, Walsh picked up the embroidered leather collar with the broken lock, and examined it. "This seems to mean a lot to her."

"It covered up several old bite marks," the lab guy added. "But the skin beneath it is white, so I don't think it came off, just was pushed aside for the bites. There are traces of blood on it, too. Her's."

"I wonder what the symbolism is," Walsh mused.

*****

Willow was furious, but she had one hope she wasn't about to expose. Drusilla had displayed an uncanny ability to find her through a combination of her visions and the bond. Neither Willow nor Spike had the ability, but, Willow had to believe that Drusilla could find her. If Spike was here, as well, they'd tear this place apart to find him.

Angelus might not care about Spike's disappearance, but Willow knew he'd have half the Sunnydale vampires out looking for *her*.

*****

Nearly four in the morning and Buffy had finally collapsed into a fitful sleep. She lay curled on Angel's couch, her head on his lap as he absently stroked her hair. He noted critically that she was losing weight again. Between her slayer activities and their overactive sex life, it was difficult for her to maintain her normal weight. He bet she hadn't eaten since Spike's disappearance. He knew she hadn't slept.

As he wondered idly if there was any real food in the kitchen, the door to his suite flew open and Drusilla staggered into the room. She looked hideous--her face ravaged by tears and scratches. Her purple lipstick was smeared across her cheek, and her fingernails with the matching polish were digging into her neck.

Concerned, Angel carefully lowered Buffy's head to the couch, then rose to meet Drusilla. He grabbed her hand away from her neck, and she collapsed into his arms, sobbing.

"Gone, gone, gone," she chanted.

As he pulled her hair back from her face, he noticed that there were deep, bleeding gouges encircling her neck like a choker...or a collar.

"We'll find Spike, Dru."

"Not just Spike," she mumbled back, her eyes glazed. Suddenly, she looked up at her sire, sanity returning for an instant. "He got away. I felt him flying free, flying to her. And they were together and then...gone, both of them taken. I saw it. Soldiers."

"Willow?" Angel growled, suddenly understanding the marks on Drusilla's neck.

"Willow?" Buffy asked weakly, half asleep. Angel turned and saw her shoving herself up off the couch. Horror filled her eyes and she paled, shaking her head violently. "No, they can't have taken Willow, too."

"What soldiers, Dru?" Angel asked, confused. He had figured that Spike had been taken by a rival clan or something. "Humans?"

"Yes, yes, daddy. Humans, stinking and vile."

"I saw soldiers on campus, but...it was Halloween." Buffy frowned.

"For the last few months we've been hearing stories of demons and vampires disappearing. Rumors have been afloat of an installation where experiments are carried out. If figured it was the bloody Watchers, but they don't use soldiers." Angel scowled.

"If Spike was captured and managed to escape, the first place he would go would be our dorm room to find Willow." Buffy began to panic, her breathing increasing, as she paced. "I told her to go rest. She was exhausted. I sent her back there!"

"They took them, they took them. Down." Drusilla swayed, the sanity leaving her eyes as visions swamped her. "Under the campus, underground, white walls, bright lights, screams, oh so many screams. They torture us." She continued to babble until Angel took her shoulders and shook her hard.

"Dru, can you find them?"

"I...I don't know. I feel her, oh so scared and alone and..." Her fingers tried to go back to her throat, but Angel stopped them." They took it away from her," she whispered, "but they can't take away the bond. I'll find her, and in finding her, I'll find our Spike."

Angel nodded, then glanced at the clock on the mantel. "It's nearly dawn. We can't do anything until dark."

"I can," Buffy said, forcing herself to be strong. "If they're under the school, we can try to find blueprints, anything, anyway down." As she spoke, she grabbed her jacket and bag.

Releasing Drusilla, Angel turned to Buffy and caught her in his arms. "You need to rest, too."

"We have to find them now, Angel."

"We have to believe they aren't in immediate danger, and, if these soldiers are human, well, so is Willow, and..."

"No, you don't understand." She bit her lip, flushing slightly.

"The thirtieth day," Drusilla whispered from behind Angel, making him spin around, Buffy in his arms.

"What?" he barked.

"They like to wait. It heightens the pleasure if a month's worth of the enzyme is released at once. Today's the thirtieth day," Buffy explained dully.

"Idiot," Angel yelled. "I can't believe I sired such a fucking idiot!"

*****

Walsh set the collar down and turned to the technician. "I want to see them together."

The technician stared at her as if she'd grown a second head. "What?"

"I want to see how they interact. We've only seen vampires as uncontrolled animals. She's nearly human, and apparently has a relationship with this vampire."

"What if he hurts her?"

"Riley's report shows that the implant seems to be working, and, if it isn't, well, keep your finger on the button for the anesthetic gas."

The man sighed and nodded in agreement. "You're the boss." Pushing a button on the console, he gave an order to bring the male vampire into examining room 'b'.

*****

Riley and Forrest both started, then jumped to their feet. "What?" they said at the same time.

The technicians just shrugged. "You guys want to handle the transfer?" one of them asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Riley gave the absolute impression that this was a big mistake, but grabbed a mask off the back wall. Forrest followed suit and they went to the door to the examining room. Keying in the code, Riley pushed open the door, his taser in his hands.

Spike looked up from his pacing and stopped moving, watching them warily.

"Come with us." One of the masked commandos gestured with his weapon and Spike's eyes narrowed.

"No thanks. I like it here."

"We're taking you to your girlfriend," the second commando said, only to be growled at by the first.

Spike's heart sank and at the same time was filled with joy. Willow was here, but...Willow was here and alive...or

No, they hadn't said they were taking him to her corpse. Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his duster, he let them lead him out of the room and down a short hall to an identical door. It opened and he was shoved inside.

*****

Willow heard a click from behind her and hopped off the bed, wanting to be on her feet to fight off whoever was entering. She gasped when she saw Spike, and froze. The eyes he lifted to her shown with love, but he was looking past her to the mirrored wall. As the door slammed behind him, he nodded slightly and opened his arms.

Torn between trying to mask their relationship and wanting to be in his arms, Willow hesitated for a moment, then sobbed and flung herself at him. As Spike's arms wrapped around her waist, clutching her to him, she buried her face in his chest and cried hysterically.

"Shh, shh, pet, it's okay. I'm okay," he soothed, stroking her long, tangled hair.

*****

Behind the mirror, Riley and Forrest joined the professor, and watched as the technicians tested pheremone levels and other factors.

"Doesn't look like the hostile's going to hurt her," Forrest finally said, breaking the heavy silence.

"It appears that they know each other quite well," Professor Walsh added, jotting a few notes down on a clipboard.

Riley shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot as he watched the young woman cling to the demon.

*****

Spike raised one trembling hand to the bump on Willow's forehead, and cursed fluently as she flinched.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she mumbled against his chest, holding him tightly. "I was just so scared about you."

"Me too, luv."

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," she wailed.

"Willow, calm down," Spike murmured. "We have to think rationally so we can get out of here. They can't be holding you legally."

"Yeah, I threatened them with a lawsuit already. No response." She looked up, sniffling, then smiled as he kissed her tears away.

*****

"Oh, that's disgusting," Forrest interjected.

***** "Bloody bastards could have given us someplace to sit at least," Spike muttered as he slid down the wall to the floor, then pulled Willow onto his lap. Wrapping one arm around his neck, she lay her head on his shoulder, sighing pensively.

"We have a problem."

"We have a lot of problems, pet," he replied humorlessly.

"You know what I mean..."

Spike sighed and closed his eyes in resignation. "We'll wait as long as we can."

"No."

Surprised, Spike opened his eyes and stared down at her. "What?"

"What if this is the only chance we have to be together? I know it doesn't happen quick. In fact, it's just about as far the opposite of quick as you can get, but I really don't want the process to start. Spike," she whispered, "No one knows if the process can be stopped once it's started."

"But..." He nodded towards the mirrors.

"I don't care." She gave him a self-deprecating smile. "I did it in front of your whole clan, I think I can handle doing it in front of a bunch of doctors and soldiers. It'll be like a gynecological exam."

Spike laughed, grinning wildly at her. "Willow, you constantly amaze me."

She smiled back and pressed a quick kiss on his mouth. "One of the things you love about me?"

"One of a thousand." He lifted her free arm, pushing the loose hospital robe up past her elbow. "I'm hungry. Don't want to take too much." Pressing a kiss to the vein on the inside of her elbow, he morphed and opened his mouth. One fang grazed her flesh and she winced.

And, Spike howled, banging his head back against the wall and sending Willow flying, agony rampaging through his skull.

*****

"Well, it looks like the implant works," Walsh said a bit smugly.

"I wonder what they were talking about," Riley said almost to himself.

*****

Willow scrambled to her knees and over to Spike who had the heel of one hand pressed against his temples. "What happened?"

"I...I don't know." The pain faded and he dropped his hand, looking up at her. Taking her arm he turned it to look at the scrape from his fang. He hadn't drawn blood. "I started to bite and then...bloody Hell, it felt like a knife being shoved through my head. Actually, that would probably hurt less."

Willow gave him a confused look, her agile mind trying to come up with a reason for his pain.

Spike shook off the remnants of pain and lifted her arm to his mouth again. Taking a deep breath, he morphed, then waited a second. When no pain hit, he placed his mouth on her smooth skin. Still no pain.

His fang pierced her flesh, and he screamed, flinging himself into the corner of the room. Willow went after him, dragging his head to her breast and rocking him. "They did something to me," he finally mumbled. "I remember now. I remember when I hit one of those soldier boys, I felt the same pain."

"You can't hit anyone?"

"I think I can't *hurt* anyone." He raised his head, looking up at her with horror-filled eyes.

"But, you weren't hurting me," Willow protested.

Spike ran one shaking finger over the old bite marks and scars on her neck. "Tell me these never hurt, not even a minor pang."

"Well...okay, a bit, but..." Her eyes widened as the implications sunk in, and her breath caught in her throat. "No..."

He morphed again, letting his fingernails turn into sharp claws. Taking her arm, he prepared to puncture the vein, but again, he barely pierced her skin before the pain slammed into him.

Spike made three more desperate attempts, before Willow screamed at him to stop, his agony driving her crazy. Pain rolling through him in waves, Spike curled into a ball, shaking, as panic overwhelmed him.

Willow looked wildly around the room for anything to use to cut herself. Running over to the bed, she searched for sharp edges. After running her hands over every inch of the smooth metal frame, she sank to her knees, sobbing as the fear overwhelmed her.

As irrationality swept her, she dug her own blunt nails into her inner elbow, trying to tear open her skin.

"Willow, stop it," Spike admonished, his pain finally gone. Weak, but able to move, he grabbed her, pulling her to her feet. Tears streamed down her face.

"I have to. We have to!"

*****

"Odd," Walsh mused. "She seems almost desperate to feed him."

"I can't stand this," Riley groaned. "She's trying to rip open her own veins for the monster."

Forrest picked up the collar, toying with the lock. "I wonder if there's some kind of master slave thing going on here. Maybe she's so broken, she feels like she has to tend to all his needs."

*****

Yanking herself free of Spike, Willow flung herself at the mirrored wall, banging on the glass with her fists, trying to break off a shard. Spike grabbed her around the waist and hauled her backwards. She struggled wildly, kicking and screeching.

"Willow, all you're doing is bruising your hands and giving those bastards a good show," he barked angrily.

Slumping weakly back against him, fresh tears flooding from her swollen eyes, Willow sobbed, "I don't want to go insane."

"You won't," he swore vibrantly into her ear. "On my life, my heart, my existence, you won't. We'll find a way."

*****

"There's got to be something," Buffy protested, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Hey, I'm only the back-up hacker, remember?" Cordelia snapped, rubbing her neck, which was sore from hours sitting at the computer. "I can't find anything."

"They're on campus somewhere, I just know it," Buffy continued.

"They're not in the mainframe, and that's as far as I can get with Willow's passwords. There are a few encrypted sites..."

"Try to break into them," Buffy pushed.

Cordelia gave her an exasperated look. "I HAVE been. I'm not Willow. I don't have the expertise." She pushed herself away from the computer and rose to her feet. "I need a break."

"We can't stop." The Slayer began to pace around the room.

Giles walked into the den, a stern look on his face. "This bickering isn't helping Willow."

Jenny looked up from the blueprints she had been perusing for an hour and rubbed her sore eyes. "We could all use a break."

"We can't take a break," Buffy cried, incredulous. "Willow would never give up on us."

"We're not giving up," Giles replied, softening his tone of voice. "But, we've been searching for nearly eight hours straight. I sent Xander out for some food and he should be back in a few minutes. We all need to try to relax and eat something."

"I can't eat," Buffy muttered, pushing past Giles. She headed to the basement to work out some of her aggression on the punching bag.

*****

Angel was awakened by Drusilla's whimpers and her body thrashing against his. Propping himself up on one elbow he watched her, wondering what she was seeing in her dreams.

One hundred and fifty years ago he had turned this creature for her ability to see things--the future, the past, Heaven and Hell.

And now he had another prospect, a woman to be turned not for her insanity and precognitive ability, but for her intelligence and computer hacking skills. Together, Willow and Drusilla might very well become an unbeatable force. Under his control, they would give him the world.

Willow was nearly ready. Fully grown, her body and mind mature, her skills at their apex, she'd learned everything the mortal world had to teach her.

So, why had he held back? Why hadn't he turned her?

And, had he lost his opportunity?

"Find her for us all, Dru," he murmured intensely, his eyes never leaving the haunted expression on the face of the sleeping vampiress.

*****

After crying and fretting and crying some more, Willow had finally fallen asleep, her head on Spike's lap as he stroked her tangled hair. He'd been watching her for hours, his mind working through numerous scenarios, numerous possibilities.

He really wanted a cigarette.

And...he was growing hungrier by the minute.

Spike gave himself a sardonic smile. He wasn't even a threat to feed on his lover, so no wonder they just left him in with her.

He could feel their eyes on him, watching him from behind the glass, wondering what he was going to do. Just as he wondered what their next move would be. They were human.

And, Willow wasn't. He'd never told her, and, even earlier when she'd protested their holding her, a human, he hadn't been able to find the words. She hadn't been human for over eighteen months, since the first time he had fed on her blood.

He hadn't realized it at the time, hadn't noticed the change in her, but as they had both recognized the bond, he began to be able to sense it, to even smell it, especially if the enzyme built for the thirty days. It had changed her. He didn't know how much, but she no longer smelled wholly human.

Spike believed that it was this, as much as the collar, that kept the other vampires away from her. The scent marked her as belonging to another vampire, even more so than sexual marking, even more so than the evidence of a bite.

His fingers lightly traced old scars on her neck, and he felt a shiver of pure love go through him. Willow gave herself willingly, eagerly to him, providing him with enhanced strength through her precious blood. It had been nearly a year since he'd looked at the marks on her neck. Once the collar had gone on, it had rarely come off. Although he had offered to give her the key so she could remove the collar during the day, she'd refused, wearing it proudly. So, as it had been easily pushed aside for biting, he'd stopped trying to camouflage the marks, and he'd only removed the leather band a few times.

Willow had nearly a complete ring of bite marks around her neck, like a necklace, proclaiming to the world that she belonged to a vampire. Spike wondered what the scientists and soldier boys behind the glass thought of the marks. To them, did the marks proclaim her a whore or a slave?

Did they know what the collar they had removed meant? That it wasn't a slave's collar? That, in fact, it was almost the opposite? It meant she was the beloved of a powerful vampire.

Of course, if they realized that, then they would have to accept the fact that vampires could and did feel love, and Spike had a feeling that to those watching, he was only an animal.

He prayed that they didn't see Willow the same way.

*****

Professor Walsh entered the observation room after getting a few hours of sleep. Riley, Forrest and Graham, her three top operatives, were all crowded into one corner, watching the couple in the white room.

"I thought I gave you orders to get some sleep," she said a bit gruffly.

"We did, sir," Riley replied. "About as much as you."

She smiled indulgently and took a seat next to the monitoring technician. "Any change?"

"The female has been asleep for just over five hours now. The male appears to be fully awake. They haven't moved from that position. Occasionally he looks towards us, but mostly he just looks at her, and he keeps stroking her. Her respiration and heart rate are normal for sleep. He doesn't breathe, of course."

"Has he fed?"

"Negative. We dropped more packets an hour ago, but he just ignored them."

"Maybe he's used to human blood," Forrest chimed in.

"If they're hungry enough, they'll eat anything," Walsh responded. How are the tests on the enzyme going?"

The technician punched a couple of keys on the keyboard and one of the screens displayed test results. "We haven't determined what it does, though...it seems to be increasing. Between the first and second blood sample, taken three hours apart when she was still unconscious, the level has gone up six point three percent."

"We need to take another sample. Agents, set your tasers on maximum and accompany Dr. Keller. If the vampire puts up any resistence, knock him out." She turned to the doctor who sat at the far end of the console monitoring minute changes in the female's physiology. Dr. Keller looked pale, but picked up his medical bag.

*****

The opening of the door brought Spike out of his reverie and he watched warily as three masked soldiers and a white-coated scientist entered the room. The soldiers moved carefully, guns raised, and flanked him.

Spike didn't move, simply continued to stroke Willow's hair.

"We need to take a blood sample from her," one of the soldiers said.

"Fuck off," was Spike's reply.

"Look, if you don't let us do this the easy way, we'll have to shoot you, and then she'll wake up and you'll be unconscious for several hours."

Spike glared at the soldier, then looked down at Willow. Gently he pulled her up to her knees, shaking her awake. "Willow, luv, wake up."

"'m up," she mumbled, sighing into his neck.

"The nasty scientists want more of your precious blood, luv."

"Okay." As that sank in, Willow blinked her eyes open, then gasped and shrank against Spike's side. "Oh...I forgot."

Spike pressed a kiss to her temple. "The benefits of Morpheus, my love."

The doctor knelt down beside Willow, snapping on a pair of rubber gloves. "Miss, I need to take a blood sample. Please just stay still."

Willow nodded silently and held out her arm. As the tourniquet was applied and a vein was found, she watched the three soldiers, wondering who they were, wondering what they were thinking. The pin prick of the needle didn't even make her wince and she barely noticed the tube filling with blood, but a glance at Spike's gold tinged eyes showed her that he was totally aware of her blood being spilt. How long had it been since he'd eaten?

"Are you going to feed him?" Willow snapped.

One of the soldiers replied as the doctor removed the needle and swabbed the needle mark with a cotton ball. "He's been offered blood."

"Drugged," Spike snorted.

The soldiers shrugged, and Willow glared. "And just what did you do to him so he can't bite anymore?"

"Why do you think we'd tell you?" the doctor asked.

Willow ripped her arm away and spun around, shoving the crook of her elbow against Spike's lips. Before he could even latch on to suck, two of the soldiers pulled her away from him. She kicked and struggled, as Spike morphed and jumped to his feet, only to have a gun stuck in his face.

"Back off," one of the soldiers ordered.

"We don't want him feeding on her, so I think that separating them until the needle mark closes would be a good idea," the doctor said as he labeled the vial of blood. "Take her to the interview room."

"No," Willow screamed, trying to free herself from the two soldiers who held her. As Spike growled impotently, she was dragged from the room. *****

Willow quickly found herself in another white room, this one with a table and four chairs, and the expected mirrored wall. Humphing, she sat down in one of the chairs, arms crossed over her chest, and squirmed uncomfortably.

One, it was cold. Two, she really, really needed to pee.

The door she'd been shoved through opened again and Willow gasped as Professor Walsh entered carrying a clipboard and wearing a white lab coat.

"Hello, Willow."

Willow just stared, totally stunned, her heart rapidly sinking. Her favorite professor...?

"I need to go to the bathroom," she finally muttered the only thought that made any sense.

Walsh pointed behind Willow. "Through that door. It's monitored, I'm afraid."

Pushing away from the table, Willow rose and nearly ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. Leaning back against the cool wood, she angrily blinked away the tears that had formed. Getting a grip on her emotions, she used the facilities, trying not to think about the camera that recorded all the intimate details. After washing her hands, she took a deep breath and returned to the interview room.

A tray of food--sandwiches, fruit, and cookies--sat on the table, and Willow felt her stomach rumble.

"You've been here over twenty four hours. I'm sure you're hungry. We know that you need to digest and process food like a human."

Willow grabbed a sandwich and snapped, "I *am* a human."

"Sit down, Willow," Walsh directed, trying to inject a gentle quality into her voice.

Reluctantly, Willow obeyed, chewing on the peanut and butter and jelly sandwich. Walsh passed her a glass of milk, and she took a sip, then nearly spit it out as she remembered something.

"Is it drugged?"

"Your physiology suggests that you have the strength and agility of a normal human, so I don't consider you a threat. There's no need to drug your food when two of my men easily dragged you in here."

Glaring, Willow took another large bite of sandwich. "But, you drug the blood."

"In order to run tests on the more demonic of our hostiles, yes."

"What is this place?"

"In good time, Willow. I'd rather talk about you."

Willow snorted and finished the sandwich. "Why should I tell you anything? You have no right to hold me, no right to..."

Walsh interrupted her tirade by pushing the clipboard towards her. Willow's natural curiosity took over and she picked it up, reading the results of various tests. As the truth sank in, she paled and swallowed hard. "This says I'm only 94.7% human."

"We've run the tests four times. We believe it's the unknown enzyme in your blood. Is it a family trait?"

"Leave my family out of this," Willow cried hoarsely, trying not to panic. "It's not genetic."

"Then what is it?"

Narrowing her eyes, Willow picked up an apple and took a bite. "Don't know." She shrugged, and gave the doctor a calculating look. "What do you think it is?"

Walsh's nostrils flared. "We don't know...yet." She changed tactics. "Willow, we have congressional approval to detain and study anyone or thing which is less than 95% human. Cooperating with us will benefit us all."

"So, you're a government outfit, huh? Demon hunters? Scientists experimenting on the races of the underworld?" She forced herself to stay calm, taking another bite of the apple that now tasted like sawdust. Logically she knew she had to keep up her strength, but all she wanted to do was break down and sob.

She was only 94.7% human?

In and of itself, that didn't bother her, because she knew she had a human soul and a human heart, but...to these people...it meant she wasn't human at all. She was a thing.

And, things could be dissected.

"Yes. We're known as the Initiative. We've taken the initiative in finding, capturing and testing demons and other creatures, to determine ways to protect the human population from them."

"And, to find ways to destroy them, right? Or maybe use them as weapons? Gee, a demonic army would be pretty much invincible, wouldn't it."

Walsh gave Willow a mirthless smile. "You are very bright, Miss Rosenberg."

"But, to you I'm not Miss Rosenberg anymore, am I? Do I have a number or label or something? How about just putting a yellow star on my hospital gown here?" Willow snapped, her voice high and angry.

Walsh's face closed down and she straightened her shoulders. "You have been contaminated by a vampire. Even if you were one hundred percent human, we would have the legal right to hold you for a very long, maybe even an indefinite, quarantine period."

"Contaminated?" Willow choked, flinging down the remains of her apple.

"Do you know how many demons can breed with humans? A growing number. Now, vampires are dead creatures and cannot reproduce, but you are obviously intimate with one, and we don't know what that has done to you. Perhaps it is what has created this enzyme in your blood."

"Wait a sec. Demons breeding with humans? I bet the idea of that turns your stomach, right?"

Walsh's lips pursed for a minute, but then she nodded. "Why doesn't it turn yours? They're monsters, the stuff of nightmares. How can you be intimate with a dead thing."

"You're supposing that I have a choice in the matter."

"Are you saying that you don't? That you're some kind of slave? Does the enzyme bind you to him and make you serve him?"

Willow watched her professor for a moment, furious and frightened, yet wanting to tell her everything and nothing all at the same time. "You're not going to let me go, are you."

Walsh was silent as their eyes met and held, then the professor looked away, shaking her head. "No. I don't believe you're a physical danger to the human population, but...your attitude is something else. Right now, most people fear and hate demons, if they believe in them at all. That attitude must be promoted if we are to keep control of our own planet."

"It was their planet first," Willow said softly, clenching her fingers around the edge of the table and leaning forward. "You poke and prod them, don't you, but you only know the physical side of them. All logical and rational. If it can't be tested, can't be evaluated and measured, it's not something worth dealing with, is it. You call them demons, but you lump together and don't take into account their individual wants and desires and goals."

"Not every demon wants to destroy the world. Not every demon will harm humans." Leaning back in her chair, watching the frustration on her professor's face, Willow picked up a cookie and took a bite, before continuing. "So, if I talk to you, tell you stuff, what? I get tv privileges?"

"We keep our hostiles in empty cells, but none of them have the physical needs that you do. You cooperate with us and we'll put a bed in this room. You'll have the bathroom, clean clothes and food. If you want a television, we can provide it."

"All I want is Spike. Let me be with him."

"Why?" From the pocket of her lab coat, Walsh pulled out the leather collar and set it on the table. "What does this mean to you, Willow? I've seen it on you, of course, but..." Her finger flicked the lock. "This part of it was hidden beneath your hair. No one knew it was locked around your neck."

"The key we took from Hostile 17's neck the first time we had him, unlocks it. So, are you his sexual slave?"

The tears returned to Willow's eyes, but she made no move to prevent them from falling, as she snatched up the collar, her thumb running over the broken lock. "No," she finally choked out. "I'm not his slave."

"So, what does the collar represent?"

Willow just stared at the strip of leather, her neck beginning to itch.

"Have you been sexually intimate with the vampire?"

Willow closed her lips tightly, and tried to fix the lock on the collar.

Walsh sighed. "I would be willing to let you be with Hostile 17 again, if you do something for me in return."

"What?"

"One thing that baffles us is, if you are having sex with a vampire, how it achieves erection. It is, after all, dead. Its heart doesn't beat to pump the blood to the penis."

Willow gaped at the woman across from her. "You want me to have sex with Spike so you can figure out how it's possible?" she asked incredulously.

"You don't have to have intercourse, just..." Walsh shrugged her shoulders. "Cooperate with us, Willow, and you can be with him."

"You're perverted," Willow yelled.

Not concerned with her captive's shocked attitude, Walsh shrugged again and continued, "It's an open offer. Hostile 17 is an interesting specimen. He maintains his human facade even in the face of hunger. And, it's obvious he cares for you. We have long been under the impression that vampires cared only for food and killing."

"Yeah, well, as I hinted at earlier, you have a lot to learn."

Walsh leaned forward intently. "And, you have a lot you can share with us, so why don't you simply agree to help us."

Willow leaned forward, too, a hint of a smile on her face. "Let me feed Spike and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

Walsh backed off. "I don't think so, Willow. It seems to be the one thing most important to you. Maybe if you tell me why."

"Fuck you," was Willow's sweet reply.

Nostrils flaring in irritation, Professor Walsh picked up the clipboard and walked towards the door. Hand on the knob, she turned back to the girl at the table. "You think about my offer, Willow. We can make your existence down here much more pleasant if you help us." Opening the door, she stepped through, pulling it shut behind her.

Willow heard the lock turn and stared blindly at the table top, her mind whirling in fear...

...and her neck itching like crazy.

*****

For at least the tenth time, Spike pulled futilely on the titanium handcuffs that pinned his hands behind his back. Fifteen minutes after the soldier boys had dragged Willow out of the room, they'd returned and manhandled him into the cuffs, then dragged him into another room, identical to both the others he'd seen except instead of a bed, this one had a table and four chairs.

The three soldiers, weapons at the ready, took flanking positions. They hadn't moved in over thirty minutes. If he hadn't been able to smell their sweat and fear, he would have wondered if they were alive under those masks.

As he was tugging on the cuffs, only succeeding in rubbing his wrists raw, the door opened and a middle aged blonde woman in a lab coat entered. She was carrying a clipboard and looked very official.

"You the bitch in charge?"

Walsh didn't seem surprised at his comment, just took the seat across from him, setting the clipboard carefully in front of her. "I believe your name is Spike? Is that the name your body's mother gave it?"

"What have you done with Willow?"

She smiled slightly, an evil, nasty smile to rival one of Angelus', and Spike barely held in an instinctive snarl. "You are in no position to ask questions. But...if you answer some of mine, if you are as helpful as Willow has been, perhaps I will allow you to see her."

The snarl slipped out and Spike rocked the chair as he pulled harder on the chain between the manacles.

"You won't be able to break the cuffs. All you do is damage yourself, and since your refuse to eat..." She let him paint his own picture.

Starving to death was not a pleasant way to go.

Spike stopped struggling, and just glared at the woman. "You have no right to hold Willow."

"Oh, come now. You know she's not human. You obviously feed on her, so you must taste the difference in her blood."

"She's more human than you, bitch."

"I'm very interested in learning about you, Spike. We have studied several vampires, but none like you. Certainly none were able to escape. In fact, no creature has ever escaped until you. That suggests intelligence. You also maintain your human facade, even though you must be hungry."

Walsh looked directly into his gold-tinged eyes and asked bluntly, "Why?"

"Yeah, I met one of the vamps you caught. He was nothing, no one. I'm guessing the others you've got here are pretty much the same or you wouldn't be interested in me."

She nodded. "That's true. But, why are you different? Is it age?"

Spike shrugged, trying to appear bored.

Walsh tried a different tactic. "Willow seems to think you are very different from the average vampire."

Now, Spike smirked and shook his head. "Oh no, ducks, you're not going to trick me. Willow didn't tell you anything or you wouldn't be here asking me all these questions."

"Don't you want to see her?"

Eyes narrowing, he watched her carefully, trying to determine if she really would allow that. Finally, he said strongly, "I want to feed on her."

"Yes, you both seem rather desperate for that to happen, so I think we won't be allowing that anytime soon." Walsh smirked this time as Spike glowered at her.

Finally, he spoke again, offering another suggestion. "Bring her in here."

"What?" Walsh was clearly startled by his bold request.

"Bring her in here and we'll both answer your questions. No more games about who has said what." He rattled the handcuffs. "I can't touch her." He nodded towards the solider by the door. "They'd shoot before I could."

As she appeared to contemplate his suggestion, the soldier by the door spoke up. "Sir, this isn't a good idea."

"No, I think it is. Even if they don't tell us anything, it's worth the chance. Go get her."

"Yes sir," the soldier replied, his teeth obviously clenched, then he left the room.

They sat in silence, Spike faking total boredom, until the solider returned with Willow. She was dressed in an overly large set of surgical scrubs and had a defiant look on her face. At the sight of Spike, the look melted into one of joy and she started for him, only to be hauled back by the soldier. He shoved her into a chair at the other end of the table and took a stance behind her.

Willow and Spike's eyes met and held until Professor Walsh cleared her throat.

"As you can see, you are both unharmed. Now, I already know quite a bit about Miss Rosenburg, but why don't you tell me about yourself, Spike."

Spike glared at the human for a long minute, then spoke in a clipped voice. "What do you want to know?"

"Name, age, how you maintain your human facade..."

"Spike, don't tell her anything."

He looked over at Willow and shrugged slightly. "I don't know what good any of this information will do her, luv." He turned back to face Walsh. "My real name is William Francis Harold Addington. I was born in June of 1776, and turned on October 19, 1799. I'm English. That's really about it."

"We've only heard stories of vampires living as long as you. Is it your age which lets you stay human in appearance?"

Spike glanced at Willow, then hedged, "Sort of." Walsh gave him a hard, expectant look and he sighed before continuing. "You really don't know much about vampires, do you."

"We know that they are demons inhabiting the bodies of humans. That they don't breathe or need to eat food. That they can be killed by a wooden stake to the heart, sunlight or decapitation."

Spike interrupted her recitation. "Any school child knows that. We're just mindless monsters," he mocked, then shook his head. "Rather pathetic. You know all about our physiology and nothing about who we really are."

"So, tell me."

"Spike..." Willow murmured, shaking his head.

"It's okay, luv. What's she going to do with the truth? Probably piss herself," he snorted and Willow couldn't help but flash him a small smile along with her nod of agreement.

"Why does she call you Spike?" Walsh asked before Spike could continue.

He gave her a wolfish, nasty grin. "Got that nickname back in the 1880s. Used to spike my victims with railroad spikes and watch 'em bleed to death." Walsh shuddered, her face tightening in disgust, and he grinned wider.

"Did you know that was where the name came from?" she asked Willow.

Willow just shrugged and nodded. "I prefer William." Spike growled and she smirked. "But Spike doesn't."

"Willow and William, luv, it just doesn't go."

"Let's get back to your story," Walsh said.

Spike nodded slightly and shifted on the hard chair. "Where were we...Oh, yeah, your total lack of knowledge. You're right in that vampires are demons inhabiting dead bodies, but you miss the whole point that there are different levels."

"Level?"

"Levels, ranks, tiers, classes, whatever. The vampires you have here? They're all the lowest of the low, and young to boot. Can't find their asses with both hands. I'm not surprised that you were able to capture them."

"And how did we manage to capture you?"

Spike glared at the professor, then admitted through gritted teeth, "I was careless. Not much I have to worry about in this town."

"This town is the home of the Slayer. You don't worry about her?"

He smirked. "Know about her, do you."

"We've heard that she's here."

"Yeah, she's the thorn in my side."

Willow rolled her eyes and Spike stopped teasing. "Yeah, right, back to the ranks. You caught yourself a load of fledglings and low level minions. It all depends on the blood, you see. A vampire is made when a human is drained, and then it drinks from a vampire. A little bit of vampire blood will create a minion. A whole lot will create a childe. Lineages are important, too. If, say, a random minion turns a human and creates a childe, it will still be nobody. The more powerful a lineage, the more powerful a vampire."

"So, what are you?"

"The childe of a very powerful vampire who was the childe of a very powerful vampire, etcetera."

"And, is the one who made you still around?"

Spike grinned again and leaned forward. "Not only is he still around, but I think you'll be meeting him very soon."

Walsh managed not to show her fear at his chilling words, and asked, "So, because you are a childe and not a minion, you can maintain the human facade for long periods of time?"

"Indefinitely, if I'm fed. Childer also retain their full intelligence. We're not mindless monsters."

"Where does your ability to love come from? Or, is Miss Rosenburg just deluding herself?"

As Spike glared, Willow spoke softly. "The demon takes on the personality and memories of the body it inhabits. It becomes the person, and, if the person had an infinite capacity to love, so will the demon. Some vampires will fight that side of themselves and become more demonic. Others will accept their humanity. Often, the stronger the childe, the more human the vampire. Spike loves me."

Walsh pulled the collar from her pocket and placed it on the table. "What does this symbolize?"

Spike and Willow looked at each other, then Willow answered, "It represents our love."

"It marks her as mine," Spike added. "No one will mess with her."

"And you feed off her."

Spike just shrugged. "Enhances the sex."

"Ah, yes, my next question. How is that even possible?"

His eyebrows arched. "Need a lesson in the birds and the bees?"

Walsh frowned at his flippancy. "Your heart doesn't beat, so blood doesn't flow to engorge your penis. How do you achieve an erection?"

"Never really thought about it."

"I have," Willow chimed in. "I mean, technically she's right. That's why Anne Rice's vampires can't, you know."

Spike snorted. "And, you know what I think of Anne Rice, luv."

She ignored him. "Obviously female vampires can have sex because nothing needs to get aroused, but...Actually, that wouldn't be much fun, and, I know female vampires do get aroused, and even a bit warm if they've recently fed, and..." As she realized what she was babbling, she cut off her statement, blushing.

"We can have sex," Spike stated firmly. "But, don't expect a demonstration...unless you let me feed on her."

"Spike," Willow hissed, still blushing.

"Thank you for the offer, but that's not something I need to witness right now. Maybe later. Why do you want to feed on her so badly?"

Spike closed his mouth and glared at the professor until she sighed and stood up.

"Well, you have been helpful, that is, if the information you provided is true. I'll see that you get a bag of blood without any drugs. Agents, take him back to his cell."

As two of the soldiers grabbed him and jerked him out of the chair, Willow cried out, reaching for him, and the third soldier grabbed her arm. "Let me go with him. Please. He won't hurt me. He can't feed on me."

Spike was shoved out of the room and the door slammed behind him and his guards, as Walsh spoke. "I have more questions for you, Willow. If you answer them truthfully, I'll let you see him again. I have no intention of destroying him anytime soon. He's a fascinating subject."

"He's not a subject," Willow bit out as tears filled her eyes. "You're the monster here." As she pulled free of the remaining soldier, her fingers rubbed at her neck just below the collar of the shirt.

The skin was inflamed and swollen.

Walsh watched Willow scratching at her neck, then jotted down a few things on the pad of paper in front of her. "Do the bites itch?"

"Huh?" Finally realizing what she was doing, Willow pulled her hand away from her neck and stared at it as if it was something foreign to her. "Yeah, I guess." Her brow furrowed. It wasn't the bites that were itching. It was something else. Something she couldn't figure out. Something she couldn't reach to scratch.

"After we're done chatting, we'll run a few tests. It looks like an allergic reaction. Try not to scratch it."

Willow just stared at her former teacher.

Walsh sighed briefly and turned back to her notes. "Now, what was it that attracted you to Hostile 17?"

"Spike, his name is Spike."

"All right," Walsh conceded. "Spike."

"I wasn't attracted to him. I mean, sure he's gorgeous and I guess I noticed, but..." The furrow in her brow grew deeper. She had never really given this subject much thought.

"Then how did your relationship begin? And, when?"

"Why do you need to know that?"

"I want to know why a seemingly normal human woman would become involved with a demon. Obviously we don't want that happening, so if it's something unique to this demon, or if you're what we call a demon groupie..."

"I'm not. Look, you seem to be having a hard time understanding that Spike and I love each other."

Walsh ignored Willow's comment. "Did you know he was a vampire when you began your relationship."

Sighing, Willow answered in the affirmative.

"And when was this?"

The younger woman looked away, wondering just how much she should tell Professor Walsh. Finally, after deciding that nothing in general she told her about her relationship with Spike would cause any harm, Willow answered. "Nearly two years ago."

Walsh's eyebrows went up. "You were still a child." Willow shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest and staring coldly at the other woman.

"Yeah, well we live on the Hellmouth. Chances of a long life are slim."

"The Hellmouth? What's that?"

Gaping, Willow slowly shook her head. "Spike was right. You know everything scientific about demons, but nothing else. The supernatural world is much larger than pure science, Professor Walsh."

"We're not really concerned why the demons are here, just how to eradicate their threat."

"Uh huh. But, you have heard of the Slayer."

"Yes." Walsh's eyes took on a calculating look. "Do you know who she is?" Willow shrugged. "It was only recently that we began to believe in that legend. Some of our operatives have caught glimpses of a young woman battling demons, and winning."

"Yeah, well, the vampires fear her." Willow shifted in her chair. "So, you've brought up three topics of discussion here. Which one do you want answers on?"

"Your relationship with Spike," Walsh answered without hesitation. "We have all the time in the world to delve into the rest. So, you've been involved with him for nearly two years, since you were sixteen?"

"Yes."

"And did you know he was a vampire when you began to have sexual relations with him?"

"Yes."

"Why would you take such a risk? He could have killed you."

"I was given to Spike as a present. I wasn't given a choice. He let me go, alive. You're right. He could have killed me, but he didn't. We...fell into a sexual relationship that developed into love."

"He raped you?" Walsh asked, her voice clinical and detached.

Willow felt anger flood her and her face redden. "I didn't say that. He can be very persuasive. And, he's gorgeous, and I was young and innocent."

"So, he seduced you, and you went back for more?" Willow nodded tightly. "But, he's dead. His body is cold to the touch. How can you stand that?"

"Yeah, he's cool and dry to the touch, but...I never knew anything else. Even if I had, I'm not sure it would have mattered. Think about it, professor. He's two hundred years old. Two hundred years of sexual experience. He knows every in and out, every erogenous zone of a woman's body, and he has the staying power to make love for hours on end. Why would I want a human male when I have that?"

"Because you're making love to an abomination."

Willow's eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared.

"Do you know of any humans sexually involved with vampires?"

"It's legendary. There are stories throughout the centuries, Dracula just being one of the most famous, though untrue. But, no, I don't know of any humans currently sexually involved with any vampires." It was a hopeful lie, as Willow had a feeling Buffy wouldn't turn up human on this group's scale either, and Cordelia had only been with Spike that one time. The ugly minions of Angelus' were lucky to get vampire females into bed; they had no chance with humans.

"So, what is it about Spike that makes him special for you? It can't just be his two hundred years of sexual prowess."

"What makes us fall in love with anyone? He feels the same emotions humans do. Okay, he tends to be a bit more violent and blood thirsty, but, he can truly love. They all can. Most just don't care to. A vampire is the sum of the demon essence and the human personality. It's all a matter of the mixture and the balance. What's odd is that minions, who get less of the demonic essence, are often more demonic than childer. I think it's because the human personality is retained in larger amounts and given more control. It's why childer can maintain their human faces with ease, why they're smarter and tend to live longer."

"Why aren't more childer made then?"

"Because no one wants a large ruling class. It's simple politics." Willow threw the older woman a shrewd look. "You really did think they were just mindless creatures, didn't you."

Walsh had the grace to look slightly fidgety before changing the subject. "Do you know any other vampires? I mean, do you socialize with any?" She touched the collar. "This marks you as belonging to Spike. Do the others recognize that possession and leave you alone?"

"Yes, not really, yes."

"Would you care to expand on those answers?"

Sighing, Willow complied. "Yes, I know other vampires, but mostly it's just 'oh, yeah, Jimbo there's a vampire'. I know two other vampires pretty well. Spike's sire and...well I guess you could call her his sister. If I ever socialize with vampires, it's with them, but, pretty much, Spike and I keep to ourselves. And, yes, they recognize the collar for what it is and leave me alone."

"And do any of your human friends know that you are intimate with a vampire?"

"Yeah, and if you think I'm going to tell you who they are, you must really think I'm stupid."

Walsh smiled slightly. "So, what is the Hellmouth?"

"Why is your little military operation running here in Sunnydale?"

"Because of the large number and constant influx of demons to this town and surrounding area."

Willow nodded sagely. "And, you've never wondered why they come here? I mean, especially vampires. Why would they choose sunny southern California over say Nome, Alaska. This town is situated over the most power of the nearly dozen mouths to Hell, and the only one that is at all active. It attracts the demonic and supernatural, and, at several times in recent history, it's nearly been opened."

"What would happen if it was opened?"

Willow gave her a stark look. "Hell on Earth. You think the demon population is bad now, see what it's like if the Hellmouth ever opens completely."

"So, demons come here to try to open it?"

"Some. Not vampires, usually, because the smart ones realize they'll be low on the totem pole when the true demons arrive in town."

"And why is that?"

"Because they're hybrids, and very human looking hybrids at that. There are very few pure demons around, which is good, because demons are a lot easier to kill when they're hybrids."

Walsh appeared puzzled and jotted a few more notes on her pad of paper. "Why would you want to kill demons?"

Willow gaped. "What do you think I am here? Just because I love a vampire doesn't mean that I want to see the Earth ruled by demons. I'm all for killing all the bad demons. Heck, I'm all for killing all the vampires except for Spike and..." She snapped her mouth shut before she blurted out Drusilla's name. "Do you really think I'm evil?"

"I'm not sure what you are, Willow," Walsh replied evenly. "For the last two months I have thought you an extremely composed, brilliant young woman. Your high school records are exemplary, except for a few notations of being involved with a bad influence. You are apparently a genius where most subjects are concerned, and even your lack of extra-curricular activities didn't keep the Ivy League and every big name school in the country and several outside the United States from recruiting you, yet you chose UC Sunnydale, I'm guessing because of Spike?"

"He was one reason."

"He could have followed you to Cambridge or New Haven or even Oxford."

"He would not have been allowed to do so."

"Allowed by whom?"

Willow shook her head, smiling thinly. "You'll find out soon, I think. You tangled with the last vampire you should have, Professor Walsh. This little operation you have going here is going to be pulled down around your ears."

"Over Spike?"

The smile turned secretive, and Willow raised her hand back up to her throat, scratching the scars in a seductive pattern.

*****

At three o'clock in the morning Buffy met Angel and Drusilla in front of her dorm. She was exhausted and her searching had been fruitless. From the scowl on her lover's face, she assumed that his search had yielded nothing either.

Drusilla was curled against his side, supported by his arm around her waist, crooning wordlessly, her eyes wide and blank.

"Did the loon have any luck?" Buffy asked tiredly, pissed off by the sight of her lover holding that tramp.

Hissing, Drusilla came to life and tried to launch herself at Buffy, only to be caught around the waist by Angel.

"Cut it out," he ordered harshly. "I love a good cat fight like the next guy, but not now."

"Let me eat her, daddy," Drusilla mewled, clawing the air menacingly.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "How about I just kick your ass across the Quad."

"I'll beat *both* your asses if you don't stop it *now*. Angel snarled and shoved Drusilla behind him. "We need to find Willow."

"Oh, yeah, and you're really *so* concerned with her," Buffy snapped sarcastically. "She's just another toy to you."

Ignoring Drusilla's bark of laughter, Angel gave Buffy a hard look. "You are *all* toys to me, but I don't let just anyone play with my toys."

"Pig." Red faced with fury, Buffy turned on her heel and stalked back into the darkness.

"We don't need her, Angel. I'll find the little Willow for you."

"Then do so, Dru," Angel barked before running after Buffy. He caught her next to a fountain, spinning her around in his arms and pressing a punishing kiss to her lips. "Don't turn your back on me, lover," he snarled before kissing her deeper.

Exhausted and full of fear and sorrow for her best friend, Buffy sank into Angel's arms, kissing him back with desperate passion.

*****

Spike paced from one end of the empty white room to the other, then around the walls, knocking on the glass each time he passed the mirror. He had eaten--the blood stale and cold and barely nutritious--and since then he had paced.

He had no illusions about his future. When the scientists were done asking their questions and poking and prodding him, they would kill him.

And, no matter how fascinated they were with Willow, ultimately they would do the same to her.

*****

"Fascinating. Has he been pacing for six straight hours?"

Riley looked up at Professor Walsh and nodded. "Yes sir. He fed on two pints of blood and that's all he has done since."

"He's an amazing subject."

"Like no vampire I've seen. Do you believe what they told you, Professor?"

"I take everything with a grain of salt, Agent Finn, but I don't know why they would have lied."

"How is Willow?"

"She's asleep. The rash around her neck is worsening. The doctors can't determine what is causing it. And the enzyme has built another three point two percent since her last blood test."

"And we don't know what that does either?"

Walsh flipped through a medical chart, then set it down on the console. "Not yet."

"Do you think Willow may know?"

"It's quite possible."

"Professor, I have to ask...What about Buffy?"

Walsh gave him a puzzled look. "Buffy?"

"She's Willow's roommate and they've been good friends for several years."

"And we have no reason to suspect that she's not human, Riley. Sometimes I wish we had authority to pull in just any human we suspect may have been infected, but we don't, not without much more evidence of possible contamination than we have. Willow has shown no sign of being able to infect anyone. Her attitude is dangerous, but we still have freedom of speech in this country."

"What if Buffy knows about Willow and this vampire?"

"We can't play guessing games. Unless *she's* dating a vampire, we have no reason to question her," she replied lightly, a smile on her face.

Riley was unable to contain his sigh of relief, and Walsh smiled. "You like Ms. Summers."

"...Yes. I like Willow, too, as a friend." He shook his head sadly.

Walsh nodded sagely. "She had great potential."

*****

On a narrow cot in a darkened room, Willow tossed and turned beneath a thin, military issue blanket...

...and she dreamed.

~~~~~

Willow opened her eyes and found herself on a misty plain. A few leafless trees dotted the rocky landscape, and everything was gray, even the grass beneath her feet. She looked down and saw that she wore a full-length and long sleeved, old fashioned white nightgown. The air was cool and damp, yet her bare feet didn't feel the cold.

Everything was silent and still, and she turned full circle, straining her eyes towards the horizon. As she turned, she saw in the distance a gray stone building emerge from the mist. She began to walk towards it.

As she approached what turned out to be a castle, she saw that it was derelict, the stones scattered on the ground, only partial walls remaining. Stepping through an arched entry, Willow found herself in a room. A table and benches sat in the middle, and a fire burned in a huge fireplace on one wall, lighting and heating the stone space.

Spinning around, she saw that the entryway was now covered by a thick wooden door.

A figure stepped out of a corner and into the light of the fire.

"Angel?"

Dressed in only a pair of black, leather pants, Angel smirked and ran his eyes over her body. Willow wrapped her arms over her breasts and shrank back.

"The fire's at your back, Willow. I can see you," he sang with a leer.

"Angel, where are we?"

He shrugged, sauntering farther into the room. "The real question is 'where are *you*'?"

"I don't know. In trouble."

"Yes."

Angel suddenly morphed into Drusilla who lifted a black rose to her nose. "Willowy Willow, my sweet little girl." She leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, "It's started."

"I know," Willow whimpered. "I'm scared, Dru."

"And you should be. When they are done asking questions, when they are satisfied you have told them all you know, they will cut you into little pieces."

Willow felt herself pale. "Dissection?"

Drusilla nodded and smiled sweetly. "Daddy should have turned you. Now it's too late. And you'll go insane first. It's started." As the mist returned and the room vanished, Drusilla disappeared. Willow spun around slowly, feeling the misty air caressing her skin. Glancing down, she saw that all she wore was a black leather teddy, matching ankle boots and elbow length gloves. Her hand went to her throat and she felt her collar.

Smiling she looked up into the eyes of her lover. Spike growled playfully and caught her against him.

"Why did we fight this, luv?"

"I don't know," Willow purred. "It's so much more fun being bad." Giggling, she rubbed herself against him, then leapt and wrapped her legs around his waist, as her mouth covered his. Spike caressed her back and bottom, kissing her with equal hunger.

"...and here we have a male and female of the species participating in a typical mating ritual," Professor Walsh said.

Willow looked over Spike's shoulder and saw the professor and several other scientists in lab coats, all with clipboards, taking notes. She hissed at them, then went back to kissing Spike.

"How does the male achieve erection?" one of the scientists asked, only to gurgle the last word as his throat was ripped out by Angel.

"Are you two going to make out or should we kill the rest of these idiots?"

Spike lowered Willow to the ground and took her hand, turning to face the now cowering and screaming group of scientists. "Oh, very definitely kill."

Willow giggled and dove for Professor Walsh.

~~~~~

With a cry of alarm, Willow woke, sitting up in bed, sweat dripping off her. She swallowed convulsively several times and swiped at her damp cheeks. As she curled back up on the cot, her fingers rubbed unconsciously at her neck.

*****

Buffy woke groggy and confused from muddled dreams. Angel stirred restlessly beside her, and she caught a glimpse of light behind the dark curtains.

Dawn. He was always restless at dawn.

Sliding out from under Angel's arm, Buffy rose tiredly from the bed and reached for her clothes, slowly pulling them on.

Angel had demanded that she get some rest, so they had returned to the mansion. Buffy had fallen into an exhausted sleep only to be plagued by bizarre dreams. Now awake she couldn't remember the details, just a general sense of foreboding.

"Three hours of sleep will do you no good."

Buffy glanced over at Angel who was sitting up, rubbing his chin and yawning. "It's better than nothing. Sun's up. I gotta get over to Giles' and see if they've found anything."

"Promise me you'll eat something."

Buffy shrugged and sat down on the bed to tie her shoelaces.

"I mean it, Buff. You look like you haven't eaten in days."

"I've eaten."

"Four food groups and everything."

"It's a triangley thing now." She looked up at her lover and couldn't help but smile at the concern on his face. "I'll eat, I promise."

Angel leaned over and kissed her gently. "We'll meet at sunset in front of your dorm?"

"Yeah. I'll call your cell if we find anything before then. We...have to find something."

"We will," he said firmly, reaching up to brush the hair away from her forehead and place a kiss there.

Buffy reveled in his tender strength for a moment, then gave him a brief smile and rose to leave.

*****

In the early morning haze, Buffy jogged across campus on her way from the mansion to Giles' apartment. She would compare notes with the gang, eat something nutritious, maybe do a bit of training, then go to her eleven o'clock psych class. She had missed the last class and she needed to take notes for Willow as well as herself. Buffy hated having to take time out of the search for class, but she knew Willow would be the first one to tell her that her education was important.

Why she needed an education to kick demon ass Buffy didn't know, but she would humor her best friend.

*****

As they headed back to base, Riley, Graham and Forrest watched the tiny blonde running with ease across the Quad.

"Your girlfriend's losing weight, Ri," Forrest said.

"She's not my girlfriend. I just...like her."

"Duh." Forrest shot his friend a grin.

"I've never seen anyone run so effortlessly outside of world class long distance runners," Graham mused.

Forrest slapped him on the shoulder. "If that's all you're admiring about the girl, Graham, we need to talk."

As Graham chuckled and he and Forrest slipped through the bushes towards Lowell House, Riley's eyes narrowed and he watched Buffy disappear down a hill.

She wasn't wearing running clothes and, from a distance, her breathing appeared normal. Maybe there was more to Buffy than met the eye.

As he thought that, Riley grimaced and shook his head. He was seeing demons everywhere these days.

*****

Buffy lost what appetite she had when she discovered that Cordelia still hadn't been able to hack into the encrypted system buried deeply in the university computers. Everyone worked at half speed, exhausted from lack of sleep and too much worry, but no one was willing to quit for more than a cat nap or a cup of coffee.

After perusing blueprints for nearly two hours, Buffy rubbed her sore eyes, yawning. Xander was heading out the door to go open the bookstore he managed for Giles, the promise to continue to scour blueprints on his lips, and Buffy asked him if he could drop her at her dorm.

She desperately needed a shower, and a cold one at that, to be alive during class.

"Take a muffin," Cordelia said, continuing in her tactless way, "You look like a stick figure."

Making a face, Buffy took the proffered muffin, nibbling at it as she headed for Cordelia's car--the one thing she had managed to hang onto after her father lost nearly everything else to the Internal Revenue Service, and only because she had been promoted to assistant manager at the boutique she worked at due to death by blood loss of the person who had held the job before her.

"Buff, we'll find her," Xander said as he started the engine.

"But, will we be in time?" Buffy murmured almost to herself as she nibbled more of the muffin, not even tasting it.

"Yeah, well, you know I'm not really good at all the hocus pocus and hacking stuff, so I've been reading up on the bond. Nothing says that once the thirty days are up the going insane process can't be stopped. Nothing says it can, but...Gotta be optimistic. And, hey, maybe he's bitten her."

"Maybe." She took another bite, swallowing bitterly. "This is so damn frustrating. They're right under our feet, I just know it, but I can't find a way down. I want to get a bulldozer and just dig up the Quad." She made a frustrated noise and crammed the rest of her breakfast into her mouth.

*****

An hour later, clean and dressed in fresh clothes, though still looking and feeling exhausted, Buffy trudged into class. As she sat in her usual seat, she felt a pang of loneliness and fear. Willow always sat next to her.

Riley came over to her wearing a letterman's jacket and she wondered dimly what he had lettered in, but didn't have the energy to care. "Hey, how are you?"

"Huh? Oh, fine." She nervously tapped a pen on her notebook.

"I haven't seen you around for a couple of days."

"Oh, yeah...I've been really busy, school and all." She glanced at the empty seat next to her, then back up into Riley's earnest face. "Willow's sick. I'll give her my notes." She wondered why he looked startled by that, and frowned slightly. "Is that okay?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, very nice of you. I'll make a note on the attendance sheet. Um...would you like to grab lunch after class?"

Buffy licked her dry lips nervously and shook her head, saying, "Sorry, I have to meet a friend and do some research."

"Okay, maybe some other time?" He looked disappointed, and Buffy suddenly got an image of what Angel's reaction might be if she turned *him* down for lunch.

She saw herself tied spread eagled to a bed, naked, shaking in pleasure, Angel licking the sweat from her, nipping at her skin...eating her for lunch.

She nodded distractedly, a slight pant coming from between her lips, then watched gratefully as Riley returned to his desk.

What the Hell was she doing stringing a human guy along? *****

Three nights later...

Willow woke from a nap and sat bolt upright on the cot, breathing hard. More nightmares in the mist, all ending with her as a vampire.

Was that the solution? Would that stop the progression of the insanity?

She had often wondered if the bond would be broken when she became a vampire. Now she wondered if becoming a vampire was the only way for her to survive.

Rising to her feet she stumbled into the bathroom, her legs unsteady, her head swirling dizzily. The scientists were all baffled by her deteriorating condition. Fascinated, but baffled. They couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, and Willow wasn't in the mood to share.

She had a really bad feeling that if she told them why she needed Spike's blood, they would deny her need, and watch her deteriorate, taking copious notes, poking and prodding her even more than they already did.

Facing the sink, Willow turned on the cold water and splashed some on her hot face. She always seemed to be hot, no matter how low they turned the thermostat, but her temperature was normal.

Still, she felt as if her blood was boiling.

Looking up at the unbreakable mirror, she lifted her chin and examined the rash on her throat. It circled her skin like the collar.

But, it was fading.

The scientists seemed pleased with that. They hadn't wanted to give her cortisone shots, so all they had done was apply topical creams.

Willow didn't bother telling them that the itch had moved away from her skin, sinking much farther inside her, into her very veins. Sometimes she wondered what it would be like to scrape and scrape at her skin until she punctured through to her veins.

If she was a vampire she'd have lovely claws that would...

Willow shook her head, trying to clear it. More and more often her thoughts were wandering to the bizarre and the downright frightening.

She had never known that you could actually *know* you were going insane.

*****

"There's something wrong with her, professor," Riley said, watching from behind the mirror as Willow wandered aimlessly around the room in which she had spent the last four days.

"She's just acting like all caged animals, Riley," Walsh replied, her tone dismissive. "She'll come to accept her incarceration soon enough."

"The rash is fading, but the enzyme keeps building at an exponential rate."

Walsh frowned as she flipped distractedly through the charts in her hand. "It's been determined that it's a harmless enzyme. It does nothing for her. You were briefed on this yesterday."

"Then why does it keep building? For that matter, why does it exist at all?"

"Why don't you ask her?" At his surprised look, she continued, nodding towards the glass. "She's not going anywhere...ever."

Riley looked pensive, but finally nodded. He had a lot of questions for the girl in the white room. He hoped she would be able to tell him why Buffy was covering for her.

Why hadn't Buffy called the police?

*****

Willow nibbled on her fingernails, thumb to pinkie and back again, as she watched a repeat episode of 'The X'files'. "Come on, Dana. A whole bunch of little aliens just ran past you and you still don't believe? This is so stupid. How many more years are you going to stick your head in the sand?"

The opening of the door interrupted her diatribe and she stared in shock at the man wearing fatigues who stood on the threshold.

"Riley?"

"Um, hi Willow." He closed the door behind him, then found himself smashed against it as she flung herself at him, beating him with her little fists. "Willow! Stop it." He easily caught her wrists and pinned them behind her back.

"You son of a bitch. I should have known, you being Walsh's pet and all." She tried to kick him in the shin and he picked her up and dumped her on the cot.

"Just sit still. You're not doing anybody any good fighting me." He turned off the television and pulled up a chair. Willow sat up on the cot, leaned against the wall, and glared at him.

Riley leaned forward slightly, watching her reactions to him. "I *am* sorry that this is happening to you."

"Then set me free."

"I can't do that."

Her eyes narrowed and she sneered. "Government stooge."

"Willow, I had hoped...Well, we were friends..."

"No, I don't think so. See, none of my friends have ever held me prisoner."

"I understand the hostility."

"Oh yeah, use those psychology lessons." She snorted.

Riley let out a slow sigh and switched tactics. "The enzyme apparently has no benefits."

"Huh?"

"The unknown enzyme in your blood. It doesn't seem to do anything. At least nothing we can determine."

Willow shrugged, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"Have you always had it? Is it an inherited trait."

"I told you 'no'. Leave my family out of this."

He nodded. "Okay. So, was it introduced? We know it doesn't come from a vampire bite. We've tested the blood of enough victims. Or is it something that has developed in you, a mutation of some sort?"

"Why do you think I know?"

"I don't know. I just do. I think you're hiding something, something big."

Willow stared at a spot on the wall past Riley's head until her eyes began to cross. "Wow, if you stare at something long enough, your eyes get all wonky."

"What?"

"Oh." She looked back at him. "Right, sorry, the enzyme. Yeah, it's a bitch, isn't it."

"Willow, are you okay?"

"Sure. Don't I look okay?"

"So, what about the rash?" he asked, changing the subject. "Do you know what caused it?"

"Nope. It's fading. Probably just a reaction to being unjustly imprisoned."

"Okay, what about the vampire. Why him? You're a lovely young woman. Surely you could find a normal human man to date."

"And that bothers you doesn't it. Grosses you out? The thought of me doing it with a vampire, the two of us all naked and sweaty...Well, me sweaty, not him since vampires don't sweat."

Riley gave her a baffled look and Willow, realizing she was babbling, clamped her lips together. "Yeah, it does bother me," he said slowly. "He's not alive, not remotely human..."

"He's human everywhere it counts," she said softly, then snorted as he automatically glanced down at his lap. "Not there, perv. Well, actually..." She grinned wickedly.

"He's a demon."

"Duh."

Exasperated by her attitude, he asked, "Willow, don't you understand that if you help us, cooperate with us, your life here doesn't have to be horrible?"

She gave him a look of total disbelief. "Don't you understand, Riley, that once they get everything they want out of me, they'll dissect me? *You'll* dissect me?"

*****

Drusilla walked in concentric circles, her nearly closed eyes on the ground, her hands clasped tightly together. She muttered under her breath, nursery rhymes and bits of songs. Angel walked several steps behind her, his eyes on the surrounding trees and bushes, on the lookout for soldiers and students.

Buffy tapped a stake on her knee as she sat on the edge of a fountain, watching Drusilla going around in circles for the third straight night. She occasionally rolled her eyes in disgust, hiding her concern and fear.

Around two in the morning, Drusilla sank to the soft grass near the Library, a small wail echoing from her. Angel was quickly beside her, wrapping his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest, sobbing. "She's so close, Angel, so very close." Spinning away from her sire, she began to pull up the grass with her bare hands. "Why can't I find her? Why?"

Buffy hovered, frowning, as Angel dragged Drusilla to her feet, shaking her gently until she quieted and sank against him again. "I can feel her," she whispered. "She's so scared. Her mind is awhirl." Pulling back, she looked up, her eyes wide with sorrow. "It's like mine. All confused and spinning, with visions and terror and blood, so much blood."

"Willow's going crazy?" Buffy asked, her voice strangled in her suddenly tight throat.

Drusilla nodded, and Buffy spun away from the vampire couple, stalking back across the courtyard. From her backpack, she pulled a roll of worn blueprints, and she stopped under a streetlight to peer at the now familiar plans, hoping to find something new.

"Damnit," she yelled after a few minutes, flinging the papers away. "There's nothing unusual here, nothing hidden. All the buildings are normal. We've gone into every basement, searched every shed. This doesn't make any sense!"

*****

Spike had lost track of time, but he figured that at least two or three days had passed. They fed him on an irregular schedule, and dragged him from his cell at all hours. It was almost as if they wanted to disorient him.

For the most part they had performed a wide variety of mind-numbingly boring psychological tests on him. He had doled out answers in a stingy fashion, and had purposefully led them down a few wrong paths.

Most of the time he had simply worried about Willow. Every time he asked about her, they gave him the generic answer of 'she's fine', but Spike knew she couldn't be fine. They were three days past the thirtieth and everything he had read asserted that the insanity came on and progressed at a rapid pace.

The door to his cell opened, interrupting this round of pacing, and two soldiers and the royal bitch herself entered the room. Spike eyed them warily, his back to the far wall.

"Ready for another test?" Walsh asked.

Spike glared, watching carefully as the soldiers flanked him, weapons raised. "Sure, what is it today? Round pegs in square holes? Or is that square pegs in round holes?"

"Something a bit different." She gestured and one of the soldiers pulled out a set of restraints. Spike allowed them to pin his wrists behind his back, silently wondering why they were doing so. In the hopes that if he behaved he would get to see Willow, he had gone docilely with them on each journey out of the room, so they hadn't bothered restraining him after the initial trip.

A bolt of fear ran through him.

Maybe they were restraining him because they were concerned about his reaction to whatever they were going to show him.

Maybe they were going to show him his lover...

...dead.

*****

The soldiers dragged Spike into a small room with four chairs sitting before a bank of monitors and a glass wall. He almost sighed in relief at the sight of Willow on the other side of the glass. She sat on a cot glowering at a soldier sitting in a chair.

Spike was pushed into the chair farthest from the one occupied by Professor Walsh, but he didn't resist, his entire being focused on his lover.

*****

"No one is going to hurt you, Willow. We just want to find out what has caused the change in you."

"Ch--ch--ch--changes," Willow sang, then clapped her hand over her mouth. As Riley gaped at her, she forced herself under control. "Sorry. Going through some changes." She giggled and again covered her mouth.

"Willow, do you feel okay?" Riley asked, concern echoing in his voice.

Willow leaned forward and whispered loudly, "I'm incredibly horny." As Riley flushed, she continued blithely, "I'm not about to do anything about it and give you all a show. Professor Walsh said that some time she'd like to observe Spike and I fucking like bunnies. I'm not about to give that frigid bitch any vicarious pleasure."

Grinning, she leaned back against the wall and turned to the mirror. "Did you hear that, bitch? Am I giving you an earful? You're not going to get an eyeful. Nope, not gonna happen, no matter how horny I get. It's too late anyway. Too late for Willow. My blood's gone all wacky, or maybe that's me."

Willow looked back at Riley, but ignored his stunned expression. "How's Buffy? Has she let you kiss her yet?" She waited for him to shake his head dumbly, and smiled knowingly. "She won't. She doesn't dare. I warned her against dating you. Told her it was a bad idea." She gave his camouflage outfit a pointed look. "How right I was."

Riley finally broke into her rambling. "Did you drink a lot of coffee this evening?"

There was a touch of hysteria in her laughter. "I wish. Nope, this isn't fun like a caffeine buzz. It's like an itch I can't quite reach to scratch. I've tried." She pulled the collar of her shirt aside and he gasped at the fresh ugly scratches scattered amongst the older scars. "I did this in my sleep. It didn't help. The itch just keeps sinking deeper and deeper. I think it's in my brain now." Willow raised one hand to her scalp and scratched it, laughing as Riley jumped up and grabbed her hand. "Gotcha!"

"Professor Walsh!"

In the control room, Walsh watched Willow with increasing interest. Forrest glanced at Graham and muttered, "The girl's nuttier than a fruit cake."

Spike stared stonily at Willow.

And blood dripped from his palms, torn to shreds by his claws.

As Willow laughed at Riley's panic, Walsh turned to Spike, wrinkling her nose in distaste at his demonic visage. "Can you calm her?"

Morphing back to human, Spike jumped to his feet, nodding urgently. Walsh gave orders to the two soldiers and he followed them docilely. As soon as he was shoved inside the other room, Willow's laughter stopped and she flung herself at him, sobbing his name as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Spike peppered kisses over her upturned, tear-streaked face, all the while tugging futilely on the manacles which prevented him from returning her embrace.

As Forrest and Graham took flanking positions on either side of the door, Riley pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the manacles, wincing at the blood stained metal and the self-inflicted wounds on the vampire.

Ignoring his bleeding, throbbing hands, Spike cradled Willow close and kissed her with exquisite tenderness. Willow sobbed louder, crumpling against him until he was forced to lift her into his arms and lower them both to the bed.

"If they start doing it, I'm going to hurl," Forrest interjected.

Wrapped around his trembling lover, Spike turned his head briefly to snarl at the soldier, before returning to his attempts to calm Willow.

"He was supposed to calm her, not set her off," Graham added.

"I'm trying, pillock." Spike's voice softened and he stroked the tangled hair from Willow's face. "Willow, luv, you have to calm down. You're going to make yourself sick."

"I'm already sick," she hiccuped. "Sick in the head. Sick to the bone. Blood sick." Clutching at the front of his shirt, shudders running through her, she looked up at him with suddenly sane eyes. "Now you have two of us, two insane lovers." Raising a trembling hand, Willow caressed Spike's cheek. "I know what it's like for her now. Oh God, Spike, it's terrifying. The loss of control, the fear..." Her eyes hardened. "Angel should be shot."

Spike's lips twitched and relief flooded him. "Wouldn't do much good, luv." He brushed his lips across her heated forehead and rose to sit against the wall, cradling her against him. She sank beneath his comforting arm, suddenly exhausted.

"I think I babbled a bit." Willow blushed slightly, unable to look at the soldiers in the room.

"Just a bit," Spike agreed. "But, it got us together."

She smiled up at him. "Since when did you become mister positive?"

He chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. "I think it was when you first said you loved me."

"You were dying." "Well, something brought me back from the brink and it sure wasn't' the prick's blood."

Willow laughed and burrowed closer to Spike.

The door opened and Walsh stepped inside. All three soldiers snapped to attention until she gestured for them to be at ease. Spike and Willow ignored her.

"Why did you free him?" Walsh asked Riley.

"Willow was acting too irrational. I thought he might be able to help. She was manic and he was visibly upset by it."

Walsh drew a chair up to the cot and sat down, Riley moving behind her, his hand on the side arm at his hip. "Well, you two look cozy."

Slowly both Willow and Spike turned their attention from each other to the professor.

"There's no reason to keep us apart," Spike said calmly.

"You have very interesting reactions when you're apart." The professor smirked at his glower, then looked at Willow. "Willow, why were you so upset?"

"Being locked up and subjected to mind-numbingly dull medical tests will do that to a person."

"I think there's more to it than that."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Only you're so stupid, you'll never figure it out," Willow shot back.

Walsh's jaw tightened and her eyes narrowed. "Cooperation can provide you with a comfortable life, Willow."

"No thanks. I think I'd rather have a particularly gruesome yet glorious death."

"Willow..."

The concern in Spike's voice made her look up at him, the love shining in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Spike. I truly would have liked to see Angel tear open her skull and suck out her brains."

Spike tightened his arms around her, panic filling his eyes. "Willow, luv...no..."

"And you can't even turn me," she said sadly. "I have dreams of being a vampire. I'm quite nasty," she added matter of factly. "And I wear lots of leather. Why didn't you ever tell me I look so good in leather?"

"You look beautiful in anything," Spike replied in a choked voice as he watched her sanity disintegrate before his eyes. It was a too familiar progression.

"Willow," Professor Walsh broke in sharply.

A pout formed on Willow's lips. "I'm not talking to you. You're evil. You think *we're* evil, but we're nothing compared to you."

"Luv, don't anger the lady who holds our lives in her hands," Spike murmured.

"Kay, I'm tired." She closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

Spike gazed down at her in utter terror.

"What's wrong with her?" Riley was the one to ask that question, and Spike just looked at him blankly.

Walsh rose to her feet and leaned down to feel Willow's forehead. "She's feverish. Perhaps that induced the rambling." Raising back up, she looked at Spike. "Let her go so that we can treat her."

Full of despair, Spike clutched Willow closer. "Please just let us go." He would never beg for his own life, but he would give it up to save Willow.

As he protested, trying to get them to allow him to stay with Willow, Spike was dragged away from her and forced back to his empty cell. Frightened and helpless, he slumped down into a corner and buried his face in his hands.

*****

The dreams came again. Fog swept aside and Willow found herself on a beach watching the tide come in. The water was the color of blood, and the sky was gray and heavy with clouds. Slowly she walked along the water's edge, occasionally glancing down at the frothy surf.

Tiny human skeletons lay in tide pools. Willow walked around them, unconcerned as they opened their jaws and cried her name.

A rock formation jutted in front of her and Willow stepped into the sea to slip around it. The water was ice cold, but she barely felt it, as she was already chilled to the bone. As she rounded the dark gray rock she bumped into a black clad figure. Angel lounged on the other side of the rock, just at the edge of the water.

"Do you know you're walking in blood?" he asked lazily.

Willow looked down and saw the sticky red fluid clinging to her calves and staining the white silk of her skirt. "Think it's trying to tell me something?" She slipped her hand through Angel's cocked arm and he helped her onto the beach. "Do you think that turning me will reverse the progression?"

Shrugging Angel guided her down the beach. "Why did you find it necessary to bond with my idiot childe?" he finally sighed in a much put-upon voice.

Willow giggled, the sound immediately carried away by the rising wind. "We didn't do it on purpose."

Angel snorted in disgust. "I taught him better than that. Never bite your bed partner if you're planning to let the person live. You never know what kind of ridiculous life bond might be formed."

Spike stepped out of a cave that suddenly appeared in the cliff before them. He wore pure white. Angel snorted again, and Spike ignored him. "Her blood is purer and richer than any others." He held out his hand to Willow. "Come with me, luv."

Breaking away from Angel, Willow eagerly took her lover's hand. As Spike led her into the dark cave, Angel's voice followed them.

"He's not your salvation, Willow."

The immediate cave was dark, but there was a faint golden glow in the distance. Spike led her towards it and the cave gradually widened into a wide, paved room. The glow came from dozens of candles reflecting off a floor of gold tiles.

Drusilla rose naked from a pile of white furs and beckoned to Spike. Dropping Willow's hand, he went to his vampiric lover and sank into her embrace. As they tumbled to the furs, the candles began to go out one by one. Fear swept through Willow and she spun around wildly. Darkness fell to the sound of avid lovemaking, and she whimpered in distress.

Invisible hands began to pull at her skirt, clutching at her knees and thighs. As one slid up her naked leg, she screamed and twisted, trying to pull away. Stumbling, she fell hard and felt the leather of a boot beneath her hand.

A light flashed on and she blinked, raising her hand to shield her eyes. Riley sneered down at her in disgust. His raised foot heading for her face was the last thing she saw.

*****

Willow awoke violently, gasping for breath, her heart pounding loudly in her ears. She tried to move, but found herself restrained, and glanced down to see that leather bands held her naked to an examination table. A masked doctor was scraping cells from a small wound on her right arm. Pain lanced through her and Willow screamed.

"Put her back under. I want to know what's wrong with her," Walsh ordered from somewhere past Willow's head.

A mask came down over her face and Willow surrendered to the gas, praying that this time her sleep would be dreamless.

*****

Buffy was awakened by the muffled sound of her cell phone ringing. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she caught a glimpse of Angel stirring next to her, and she slipped from the bed and grabbed her purse. Digging through it, she pulled out her phone.

"Hello?"

Angel sat up, draping his arms over his raised knees and watched the emotions cross his lover's expressive face. As her eyes lit up, he felt relief fill him. Finally good news. As Buffy hung up and turned to Angel, cautious joy on her face, the door banged open and Drusilla ran into the room.

"I know where they are," Drusilla cried, ignoring Buffy. She jumped onto the bed next to Angel and grabbed his arm, tugging at him. "I can find them now, I know it. We must go."

Sliding from the bed, Angel reached for his clothes and turned to Buffy who was yanking on a pair of jeans she kept there. "Who was on the phone?"

"Giles. Cordy broke the code. There's a secret complex beneath Lowell House. There's an elevator inside, but it's booby trapped. The shaft isn't though, so we can go down it. There's also an exterior entrance hidden in a garden shed. We must have examined the damn thing half a dozen times."

"Yes, that's what I saw," Drusilla chimed in. "I know where it is. The boys can go that way and set off the alarms, causing a distraction." She rose from the bed and straightened the seams of her black capri pants and red velvet bustier.

Buffy tucked in her shirt and sat down to pull on her boots. "Giles and Faith are meeting us at Lowell House in fifteen minutes with tranq guns."

Angel snorted and finished coiffing his hair. "Don't even think of holding me back, my love."

Buffy ignored the pang his words caused and forced aside her inner slayer, concentrating on the coming rescue.

*****

Fifteen minutes later, Buffy, Angel and Drusilla met Giles and Faith on the steps of the darkened fraternity. It was nearly three in the morning and looked like everyone was asleep.

"Cordelia's shutting down the alarm system at three. She believes she can keep it off for five minutes. That should give you time to reach the bottom of the elevator shaft." As he spoke, Giles handed each of his slayers a tranquilizer pistol which they tucked into convenient places.

"Angel's minions will enter through the garden shed at the same time and make their way through the tunnels to the complex, creating as much noise as possible," Buffy added. "And we just let the vamps run wild?" Faith asked, smirking.

"Your priority is rescuing Willow," Giles replied in an emotionless voice.

Angel laughed and slapped Giles on the shoulder. "Who ever would have thought you would subscribe to the expediency theory?"

Scowling, Giles brushed the vampire's hand from his shoulder in distaste. "I would prefer it if no one died, but *we* can't rescue Willow alone. We need the distraction provided by your vampires. If Buffy was accidently to stake you in the ensuing melee, I wouldn't shed a tear." Angel just laughed harder.

Faith nudged Buffy. "Your boytoy gets off on death threats, B."

Buffy sighed. "Can we just be quiet and go rescue them?"

"They're together," Drusilla murmured. "I can feel them, so close..."

The clock on top of the administration building bonged three times and Buffy saw the blue light of the security system over the door blink out.

"Quiet and single file."

The door was easily picked and the house was silent. Drusilla led them instinctively to the hidden elevator. Buffy couldn't believe how many times she had walked past this very spot. She also couldn't believe the obvious truth that Riley had to be involved with the commandos.

Angel punched through the wall and he and Faith tore a large hole into the elevator shaft. The elevator was above them and thick cables led down into the darkness. Pulling on heavy gloves, they each swung onto the main cable and worked their way down, Angel first, followed by Buffy, then Drusilla, with Faith brining up the rear. Armed with a tranq gun, Giles stood watch.

*****

Spike cradled Willow on his lap, rocking her gently. She was asleep or unconscious, her head pillowed on his shoulder, her breath hot on his neck. She was shivering, even wrapped in his duster, yet she felt like she was on fire.

Desolation swept over him and tears stung his eyes.

The scientists had finally accepted that he couldn't hurt anyone, so the bitch had allowed him to be with Willow in the obvious hope that he could help her or at least keep her calm. His touch quieted her fevered ramblings, but he couldn't make her warm. For the first time in two hundred years he wished he was human.

As Willow shivered and whimpered in his arms, he slid into fantasies of what might have been if he was human, if he had never bitten Willow, if he had never met her. He couldn't bear the truth that it was due to him that she had been captured and was now going to die a painfully drawn out death. It would have been better for her if Drusilla had never brought Willow to him. All their lives had changed that fateful night.

***** Hanging upside down over a convenient bar, Faith hot-wired the door near the bottom of the shaft while the others clung to the cable. As the elevator door slid open, alarms rang out and all four jerked. They cautiously stepped onto a platform at the top of a set of metal stairs, and saw soldiers and men and women in lab coats dashing around below them. The soldiers were grabbing weapons and running for a far corridor as the scientists were disappearing behind a heavily shielded door.

Buffy felt a glimmer of hope as the room below them cleared.

Silently they made their way down the stairs. Drusilla's eyes lit up with excitement and she dashed lightly across the floor to a white door. As Angel and Buffy stood guard, Faith worked on the electronic lock. Finally shaking her head ruefully, she punched in the lock. An alarm sounded to join the rest. She mouthed 'sorry' at Buffy, who mouthed back 'shit' before pushing open the door. An orange light was flashing on the ceiling of a long corridor with several doors off it.

Drusilla pushed past Buffy and ran to the fourth door on the right. She grabbed the door handle and broke it open.

*****

Spike heard the alarms go off, but didn't really pay any attention to them. The complex was full of artificial noises and alarms had sounded before in the near week of their incarceration. So, he was totally shocked when Drusilla burst into the room followed by his sire and the two slayers.

On spying Willow, Buffy gave a muffled cry and rushed forward.

Drusilla dropped gracefully to the floor in front of the cot, tears leaking from her wide eyes. With one hand she touched Willow's pale cheek, then she picked up the girl's hand and bit into her wrist, punching two neat holes into the blue veins. Wrapping his hand around Drusilla's neck, Spike swept down on the bleeding wounds.

As tears streamed down his face and Willow's hot blood filled his mouth, he silently prayed.

From behind the two way mirror, Professor Walsh watched the proceedings with a clinical eye, jotting down notes as the strange tableau unfolded before her.

The dark haired woman kneeling on the floor was obviously a vampire. She didn't need the monitors to show her that. The man was also a vampire. Walsh watched him reach for the hand of human Buffy Summers, and Buffy sank against him, crying softly.

Willow had been keeping secrets after all.

The other woman who guarded the door was human as well, although both she and Buffy registered as having a very similar genetic signature with a never seen before chromosomal mutation.

She would love to study them, but what really fascinated her at the moment was Spike drinking from the unconscious Willow with the help of the female vampire. Feeding on the girl had been their primary concern. She had refused their requests perversely because it was the one thing they seemed desperately to want, even more than their freedom.

Maybe now she'd find out why.

*****

As Willow reached a gentle climax and trembled in Spike's arms, he lifted his head to look up at his sire, tears on his cheeks and blood on his lips. Drusilla stroked Willow's hair, murmuring softly as Spike pled with Angel. "If...if this didn't work, please turn her, sire, please."

"No," Buffy protested, pulling free of Angel.

Angel dropped to a crouch, concern on his face as he reached out and gripped Spike's shoulder in a reassuring touch. "What happened, Will?" Why didn't you bite her?"

"I can't," Spike spat out. "The bastard scientists did something to me. Every time I hurt her, I feel this debilitating pain in my head. We tried and tried," he choked, then jostled Willow who remained limp and pale. "Please wake up, luv."

"Gang, let's get out of here. We can sort all the shit later," Faith called from the doorway, turning her back on the hall for a moment.

A camouflage cloth covered arm slammed around her throat. Faith reacted instinctively, flipping the man over her shoulder. He landed hard and a kick to the face knocked him out. "Out, now," she yelled, pulling her gun from the back of her waistband.

Spike and Drusilla rose, lifting Willow into his arms. With the two slayers in the lead, followed by Spike and his precious burden, and Angel and Drusilla covering the rear, they advanced into the hallway, only to find about a dozen armed soldiers blocking their exit.

"Shit, the other way's a dead end," Faith muttered.

"Then we fight our way out," Angel growled, pushing Spike and Willow behind him.

"Don't be stupid," Professor Walsh said, as she stepped out of a door just in front of the line of soldiers. As Buffy gaped at her, she issued swift orders. "The two with the guns are human, the other two are vampires. I want them all alive."

As she stepped aside, the soldiers raised their weapons and Riley came to the front of the line, his eyes never leaving Buffy.

Angel leaned forward slightly from his position behind Buffy and murmured, "This toy soldier looks familiar, Buff."

Buffy winced...

...and all Hell broke loose.

From behind the soldiers came the growls of what remained of the army of vampires, angry at the large number lost to them in the battle. As the humans turned, Faith and Buffy shot four of them with tranquilizers, then they and Angel and Drusilla dove into the fight.

The humans' taser shots went wild as Drusilla's claws slashed and Angel broke necks.

At one point, Riley and Buffy faced each other, both weaponless and bleeding from minor cuts. They fought silently, Buffy trying to ignore the look of utter betrayal on his face. The expression slowly turned to bafflement as she easily matched him blow for blow until he began to miss and she continued to hit on target. As he gaped at her, panting and red faced, she knocked him unconscious.

Stepping back as he crumpled at her feet, Buffy felt the muzzle of a gun press against the back of her head.

"Stop fighting, now," Walsh commanded.

Only a handful of soldiers remained standing, but they backed away at her order. The vampires stopped fighting at a guttural command from Angel, whose golden eyes focused intently on his lover only a few feet from him.

Drusilla slipped up beside him, blood staining her smiling lips as she looked past the professor and Buffy.

Walsh felt a tapping on her shoulder and instinctively turned her head.

Willow's fist sent the professor reeling around Buffy.

She had returned to consciousness only moments before Walsh had snuck up behind Buffy. Forcing Spike to set her down, her head muzzy, her limbs trembling, she had quickly assessed the situation. He had tried to hold her back, but she had been determined to exact her own measure of revenge.

Her fist stinging, Willow sank pale and shaking back into Spike's arms and watched Walsh stumble into Angel.

Knowing what was coming and ignoring the pain in her heart, Buffy turned her back and went to hug Willow.

As Angel wrapped one arm around his captive's neck, pinning her against his body, he gave her an evil, furious look. "Did my childe tell you I would come for him and his consort?" Walsh nodded, panic silencing her voice. Angel's hold on her neck tightened and he flashed his fangs. "You should have listened and set them free." There was an audible pop and then a squishing noise as Angel ripped the professor's head off her shoulders. He dropped the body and blood gushed across the floor.

One of the remaining soldiers gave a hollow cry of horror and Faith slammed the butt of her gun into his temple. "Let's get out of here."

"I want to kill them all," Drusilla cried petulantly, as she slammed another soldier through a glass door.

Angel sneered at the head dangling by its hair in his hand, then tossed it at the soldiers. "Some other time, Dru," Angel coaxed, fighting his way through the desperately battling commandos and waving the remaining vampires down the hallway, giving them orders to head for the surface.

Buffy kneed a familiar black soldier in the groin, then shoved him aside. "Can we just get out of here?" As she stepped into the main room, she gagged at the sight of mutilated corpses of scientists and soldiers. Beside her Faith tightened her jaw, grabbed a gun from a headless commando, and led the way across the main room to a door marked 'stairs'.

Spike swept Willow into his arms and took the stairs two at a time, her blood energizing him. At the top, Angel broke down the door and they spilled into the hallway just down from the elevator.

Giles swung around, then lowered his gun. On the floor were half a dozen unconscious soldiers.

The ringing of a cell phone startled them all. Giles fumbled in his pocket for it, then answered it, as they all began to move towards the exit, Angel and Buffy leading the way, hand in hand. As they pushed through the front door, Giles kept urging them forward, and turned off the phone.

"Cordelia has found a self-destruct sequence for the complex. I told her to set it for ten minutes. It sets off alarms down there, so they should be able to get out." He shrugged a bit sheepishly.

"They can all die for all I care," Willow spat as strongly as she could.

Spike gave her a startled look, then began to run across the quad. "Your place, Watcher, now."

*****

Half way to Giles' apartment, a muffled booming noise came from behind them and a tremor rocked them. Sirens and alarms began to sound from the vicinity of the campus and Buffy felt a wave of guilt sweep over her.

"None of that, lover," Angel whispered into her ear, his hand tightening around hers. "They deserved it."

"Let's keep moving, shall we?" Giles said in a tight voice.

Five minutes later they all burst into Giles' apartment--except for Angel, Drusilla and Spike, who bounced off the barrier. Willow nearly went flying from Spike's arms, and he growled at Giles.

Sighing, Giles invited them in, muttering to himself about the dangers he put himself through.

Xander jumped to his feet and tried to take Willow from Spike's clutching embrace. Finally, Willow growled at them both and told Spike to set her down on the couch, which he did gently, dropping to his knees next to her.

"Luv, how are you feeling?"

Her cloudy green eyes betrayed her fear. "Better, but..." Tears leaked down her pale cheeks and she began to cry.

Drusilla sank down next to Spike and lay her cheek on Willow's stomach. "We were too late," she moaned mournfully.

"No," Spike choked out, clutching Willow's hand.

Buffy turned in Angel's arms, trying desperately not to cry, as Xander and Cordelia embraced, looking at Willow with empty eyes.

Jenny slipped up next to Giles, murmuring softly, "All the research I've done has indicated that the process can be stopped, but...it can't be reversed."

"What does that mean?" Angel growled in frustration.

"Her physical symptoms will disappear. She'll regain her health quickly and she won't die, but..." Jenny's voice dropped and tears filled her eyes. "If she's gone insane..." Giles caught her in his arms, holding her tightly.

"What if I turn her?" Angel bit out.

Buffy yanked away from him, shaking her head in denial.

"It won't matter," Jenny interjected. "Look at Drusilla. You drove her insane before you turned her."

Drusilla raised her head and skimmed sad eyes across the sorrow-filled people. "Now little Willow is just like me."

*****

Buffy sat on the hearth in the mansion pretending to read a book for her class on Victorian authors. She couldn't focus on the words, all her attention on her best friend.

Five minutes earlier Willow had risen from her elaborate computer set up and wandered over to the French doors. She had breathed on the glass and traced patterns through the humidity, giggling softly as they faded, only to be repeated with another breath.

Suddenly Willow turned away from the doors. She avoided Buffy's gaze and returned to the computer. Buffy could see that her hands were shaking, but she quickly settled back into her homework.

Setting aside her book, Buffy drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around them. Sorrow filled her, a very familiar sorrow.

They rarely talked about these episodes. Only if Willow wanted to. They came sporadically. Some lasted hours, some only a few seconds, most about five to ten minutes.

The Initiative, as Cordelia had discovered the operation was called, had blown up literally three months ago. With its destruction, Spike had returned to normal, able to kill again, more importantly, able to bite and feed on Willow.

Cordelia had downloaded several zip disks full of encrypted information on the Initiative. Willow had decrypted them within forty-eight hours. Along with the plans for the now-deactivated chip in Spike's head--its power source had been destroyed with the Initiative--were details of plans for human experimentation and building the perfect soldier. Buffy had taken that information and sought out Riley.

Lowell House had been destroyed, but most of the survivors of the battle with the vampires had made it out before the explosions. Gas leak was the official explanation, and the remaining frat boys were put up in the jock dorm. Buffy didn't know what happened to the scientists and she didn't particularly care.

Armed with a file folder stuffed with documentation ranging from tapping illegally into campus electrical conduits to illicit tests on human subjects brought in for 'quarantine', she had confronted Riley.

~~~~~

Riley sat at a desk, his chair swivelled around to face the door as Buffy opened it. His look of welcome turned to surprise then anger. Closing the door behind her, Buffy took a few more steps into the room, trying to breathe calmly.

There were several bruises on his face, and his right arm was in a sling. Worse, he looked...haunted.

"What do you want?" he barked.

Buffy took a deep breath and clutched the folder tightly to her chest. "I want you to stay away from my friends."

Riley sneered. "You didn't quite manage to kill us all. There are enough of us left to bring you down."

"Riley, you don't want to do that."

"Don't tell me what to do," he snapped back, rising to his feet. "I don't take orders from a vampire's whore."

Lips tightening, Buffy stared at the man she had once considered a friend. "Leave us alone, or I'll go to the news and the local authorities with this information. We have reams of documentation, copies several times over in various locations, and disks scattered with lawyers and other trustworthy people. If anything happens to any of us..."

"Don't threaten me."

"Don't threaten my friends," she shot back. "There's a tenuous balance in this town. Your group nearly toppled us into darkness. Angel would have destroyed all of Sunnydale to find Willow and Spike. You're lucky that we broke into your database before he lost his temper."

"Angel. Is that him? The animal who murdered Professor Walsh?" Riley choked out angrily.

"You understand nothing, Riley. Willow told us how your group only saw the scientific side of demons, nothing supernatural. That was your big mistake."

"My big mistake was thinking you were a normal girl."

Her eyes dropped briefly as sadness fluttered through her. "I'm sorry, Riley. I never meant to lead you on in any way. I...never should have agreed to even one date."

He had to know. "Why did you?"

Buffy nibbled on her lower lip and raised her eyes to his. "For just a moment, I wanted to experience what normal girls do. But, you're right, I'm not normal."

"You defend and fight for demons." He shook his head in dismayed confusion.

"No." Buffy laughed harshly. "I don't. I was created to do just the opposite, but, when you fight demons long enough, you discover that it's not black and white. Everything is grey. Spike was the first vampire I saw humanity in. Once you get to know someone, it's hard to kill them. And, so you start making deals, alliances."

Riley cut her off with a hard shake of his head. "You can rationalize all this to Hell and back for all I care, but I'm never going to believe you. You're going to pay for Professor Walsh' death." He took a step towards her.

"I didn't kill her. She signed her own death warrant by capturing the wrong people. Riley, if you arrest me or hurt me, all you're doing is condemning yourself and a lot of innocent people. This is *my* town. I know how to keep the balance between the dark and the light. You lost, and everything you do to try to make it right for yourself will only rebound on you."

He glared at her, his lips tightly pressed together, but Buffy continued. "Leave Sunnydale, leave the Hellmouth, find a nice, normal girl and live a nice, normal life. Forget what happened here. Forget that vampires and demons exist. Forget that *I* exist."

"I don't think I can do that," he finally replied.

Buffy shook her head in exasperation. "What happened to the Initiative was nothing compared to what will happen if you start a war with Angel. He rules the underworld of Sunnydale. The vampire army that attacked your underground complex was only about half of his minions. There are a dozen clans in this town, and any number of other demons. He can mobilize them all. They're just waiting for him to do it, so that they can take over this town and open the Hellmouth."

"Why doesn't he?"

"Because..." She laughed, a bit bitterly. "He loves me."

Riley gave her a look of disgust and sank back down into his chair. "Get out. Keep your documentation. I won't come after you, neither will any of my men. But, I can't guarantee that another group won't show up to take you down."

Relieved, Buffy nodded and backed towards the door. "Riley, I am truly sorry if I hurt you, and I'm sorry that Professor Walsh died, that so many died."

"Forrest told me that you turned your back on her and went to Willow. That you did nothing to prevent your boyfriend from tearing her head off," he growled.

Her shoulders sagged slightly and she nodded, her face pale and emotionless. "It could have been so much worse, Riley," she whispered and fled from the room.

~~~~~

Within two days of her visit to Riley, he and all the surviving commandos had dropped out of school and left Sunnydale. So far, no one had shown up to replace the Initiative.

They all kept on alert, wary of newcomers, but life returned to normal.

As close to normal as it could get.

The sound of the printer brought Buffy's attention back to the present and she watched Willow get up and stretch.

"Do you want a diet coke? Or, I think there's still some root beer," Willow asked, heading for the kitchen.

"Root beer sounds great." Buffy forced herself not to follow her friend.

Physically Willow had recovered quickly and once the commandos had left, she had moved back into the dorm with Buffy, insisting on returning her life to normal.

That had proved impossible.

She was emotionally fragile, emotionally damaged. Buffy refused to even think the word 'insane'. Willow was no where near as troubled as Drusilla, but still...

The episodes--as they called them--began that first morning after the rescue. Giles had given up his bedroom to Spike, Willow and Drusilla. Everyone else, except for Angel who had left to congratulate his minions, had camped out downstairs. They had all been awakened by Willow sitting on the bottom step wearing only a t-shirt, crooning 'Blue Moon'. She was drawing moons on her arms with a blue pen.

By the time Giles had reached her side, she had snapped out of it and was staring in dismay at the marks.

That had been just the first of many episodes. Sometimes a couple of days would pass without any. Sometimes they would continue for hours or come and go several times a day. There was no pattern, no discernable trigger.

Willow had tried to continue with school, but after a major disruption in her history class, she had collapsed in their dorm room, sobbing.

~~~~~

"It's not fair, it's not, it's not," Willow sobbed into her pillow, pounding her fists into the mattress in a temper tantrum that would rival a two year old's.

Stunned by Willow's behavior, Buffy stared for several minutes, then finally jerked herself into action. Five minutes later, Xander showed up and they bundled the sobbing girl out to his car, driving straight to the mansion.

Spike met them at the door and he swept Willow into his arms and carried her up to his room.

Xander hesitated for a moment, torn between his intense hatred of all vampires, and his love for his best friend, then followed Buffy up the stairs. They found Willow crying quietly now, her head on Drusilla's lap, her arms around her waist as the vampiress stroked her tangled red hair and sang softly to her.

Spike gestured with his head towards the hall and they backed out of the room. "What happened?"

Buffy gave him a helpless look. "She came back from class ranting about how Napoleon was just misunderstood and how her teacher was an idiot, then she burst into tears and started throwing a tantrum."

Spike's expression turned bleak and he ran a shaky hand over his face. "This can't continue. Someone will end up calling the psych ward on her."

"It'll kill her to quit school," Xander choked out. "She was so determined to go back."

"She can't handle it. I don't want her hurt any more than she already is. People are cruel."

Neither Buffy nor Xander thought Spike's statements at all odd. People were already looking at Willow funny. Soon the whispers would begin and the finger pointing...

"Maybe she can do some independent study or something," Buffy suggested.

~~~~~

The next morning, calm and collected, Willow, accompanied by Giles, had gone to the dean and created a whole year of courses, all independent study. They had used her genius and the reasoning that she was bored with traditional school work as reasons for the unusual request. With visions of phi beta kappa and Rhodes or Marshall scholar and the prestige to the school that those kind of honors would bring, dancing in his head, the dean had readily agreed.

Willow communicated with professors around the world usually through email and the Internet. Her course work was much more difficult than Sunnydale had to offer, but she was actually thriving at it.

She had moved out of the dorm and into the mansion after her nightmares had awakened the whole floor one time too many. Buffy missed her and spent more and more time at the mansion herself.

She was never very comfortable about leaving her best friend alone for long. She wanted to be there for Willow.

She felt incredibly guilty, though she knew Willow would never blame her for bringing Spike into her life.

The new semester was about to start and Buffy had chosen all afternoon and early evening classes. Always somewhat nocturnal, it was now quite customary to find her retiring with Angel around five in the morning and sleeping till noon.

Buffy figured that by the next year, she would be living permanently at the mansion. She wasn't quite sure how she was going to explain that to her mother and Giles was having silent fits about it already. On the surface he accepted her excuses that she wanted to be with Willow-- and that was mostly true--but he wasn't ready to accept her desire to live with her lover.

Buffy was hoping that gradually over the next six months Giles would come to accept it. She knew he had accepted so much that he should never have had to. She was terribly glad he had Jenny. She didn't know what he would do, what he would be like without her. Buffy didn't really want to find out, very happy that the older couple were now a happily married bookstore owner and freelance computer programmer.

Willow returned with two cans of pop and they settled on the couch, popping the tabs open. Buffy glanced over at her friend and saw a smile glimmering around her lips. "Here's to life," Willow said softly, raising her can. "And handling what it throws our way."

Nodding, Buffy tapped her can against Willow's. "To life, and the future."

Willow smiled and took a sip. "Sometimes I wondered if I'd have one. I still don't know for sure, but...that's kind of exciting in its own way."

"Yeah, routine would sure be boring." Buffy chuckled, refusing to think any more morbid thoughts.

On the stairs behind them, Angel nudged Spike and whispered, "Now, isn't that a beautiful sight?"

Entirely focused on the sound of laughter coming from his lover, Spike could only nod as he headed down the stairs to join her.

Angel hit the switch to turn on the stereo and soft music filled the air. Both women rose with smiles on their faces and sank into their lovers' arms to dance the night away.

End

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