As he crossed the clearing, Angel heard Lily's weak voice and hurried forward. He dropped the vampire he was carrying and pinned him to the ground with his foot. Buffy jumped to her feet and hugged him.
"She's gonna be okay," Buffy cried.
Hugging her back, Angel suddenly became very dizzy. The world spun and he crumpled to the ground, dragging Buffy with him.
"Angel!" Buffy scrambled to her knees and began to run her hands over Angel's trembling body, looking for new injuries.
"It's okay, Buffy," Angel gasped. "Adrenaline rush just ended."
The vampire whom Angel was half laying on tried to squirm away and Buffy punched him in the head, knocking him unconscious.
"What can I do?" she whispered, feeling helpless.
"I need to feed," he murmured in return. Buffy looked at him, then at the vampire beneath him. Rolling Angel onto the ground, she grabbed the unconscious male and the discarded knife.
Lily tried to sit up, but Spike held her tightly in his arms, preventing her from moving. "I'm okay," she said softly.
Gently Spike pulled the cloth away from the wound in her throat and saw that the edges of the cut had sealed. "You lost so much blood," he whispered, hugging her close.
"It's been replaced." Although it felt wonderful being held in his arms and gently rocked, Lily's mind was working again and she knew there were a lot of things that still needed to be done before the sun rose. "How long was I out?"
"Um, I don't know, about fifteen minutes?"
Lily's brow furrowed and she gave him a questioning look. "What happened exactly?"
"I'm not really sure. The spell failed because you were brilliant and didn't feed on the virgin." He gave her a shaky smile--shaky, because he was still bothered by the fact that she had nearly died and shaky, because he suddenly was feeling very weak.
Lily reached up and touched his pale cheek, frowning even more. "I'm the one who just lost all my blood...why do you look so horrible?"
"The moon...the moon attacked Dru and you. I shoved you free...I could feel it--energy tearing through me...the pain was indescribable. I must be feeling the aftereffects."
"I'm feeling stronger every minute." Lily ran her wrist over Spike's lips.
Growling, he grabbed her wrist and pushed it away. "Are you nuts? I'm not drinking from you, not tonight."
"William," she murmured, smiling. "This noble act you're developing...I really like it."
He gave her a look of disbelief, then bent his head and captured her lips with his.
Buffy slashed open the vampire's wrist, then held it over Angel's mouth. He tried to turn his head away. "Drink," she ordered.
Angel shook his head. "Living blood..."
"I'm not going to let you die on me now, Angel. Drink!"
At her angry voice, Angel gave in to the temptation of fresh blood and clamped his mouth over the wound. As he drank, Buffy gently caressed his head, running her fingers through his hair.
"See, you're just saving me from having to stake one more vampire," she said with a smile. Her hands slid from his hair and down over the demonic ridges on his forehead, gently caressing him...and she silently thanked God that they were all okay.
Rolling her eyes--since her head was pressed against Spike's chest--Lily caught a glimpse of Angel feeding. "Are there any more morons around?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah, a couple are trapped under a tree," Spike said.
"Go feed on them, my love."
Spike gave her a strange, panicked look. "I'm not letting you go."
Lily smiled. She still felt somewhat weak, but fresh blood was surging through her veins, reviving her. The earlier, bruised and beaten feeling was fading quickly. "I'll be fine, William."
His look turned to one of discomfort. "I wish you wouldn't call me that."
She chuckled. "'Spike' is something people name rottweilers. Now, go feed and get strong."
Finally Spike nodded and tenderly set her on the ground. Lily clasped the front of her dress closed and watched him walk slowly across the clearing, rolling her head to keep him in her sight.
Angel shoved the vampire's arm away from just as he turned to dust. Buffy coughed and waved her hands in the air, then helped Angel sit up. He wiped the remaining blood from his lips and gave her an uncomfortable look.
"Feeling better?" she asked cheerfully.
Angel didn't answer her, just scooted over to Lily. "Welcome back to the world."
Lily gave him a half smile. "Thanks. I guess we won." He nodded. "What happened to Drusilla?" She finally asked the question that had been weighing on her mind since her awakening.
"She's over there tied to a tree."
"Alive?" Lily's voice betrayed her surprise.
"Not for lack of trying," Buffy said in her best pouty voice.
"We need to decide what to do with her," Angel said slowly.
Lily looked up at him, her eyes solemn. "She's a vampire. She should die."
"Then I should die as well."
Buffy grabbed his arm, frightened by the strange, sad yet calm tone of his voice. "No, you're nothing like her. You have a soul. She's just a demon."
Glancing down at her panic-stricken face, Angel slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "I can't kill her, Buffy. I just can't."
"Well, I can."
Stilling her protests with two fingers against her lips, Angel continued, "She's no threat. She's dying again. I could feel it when I touched her. Her nervous system is shot."
"The moon?" Lily asked.
Angel nodded. "I could feel the energy in the clearing. It was heavy, oppressive. It was aimed at Drusilla."
"I saw it," Buffy added. "It looked like a beam of light hitting her, you too until Spike shoved you out of the way. Your bodies shook and you screamed, even though you were unconscious. After Spike knocked you away, it hit him for a few moments until Drusilla pushed him off her. It continued to attack her for a couple of minutes."
"Punishment," Lily murmured. She looked at Buffy. "Have you really been feeding Spike willingly?"
Buffy frowned and shrugged her shoulders. "He said he'd help us. I'm not exactly sure how much he did, but..."
Angel stared at his girlfriend. "I think we have a lot to discuss."
Buffy nodded and raised her hand to a nasty burn mark on his chest. He flinched and her hand fell to her lap. "Lots," she choked out.
Uncomfortable with her sympathy, Angel returned his attention to Lily. "So, I don't need to rip out his heart?"
"I'd prefer that you didn't," Lily said with a small smile. "It belongs to me, after all."
"Um, yeah, Spike," Buffy began. "I'm the Slayer, yada, yada, yada. I'm really supposed to be staking him right now."
Lily stretched out and took one of Buffy's hands. "You have no reason to stake him."
"Um, vampire?"
"*My* vampire."
Spike fed, draining the squirming moron with a broken back, then staked the remaining vampire before heading back across the clearing.
Drusilla's soft weeping caught his attention and yanked at his heart. He no longer loved her--he knew that was true-- but he couldn't just forget one hundred years of love. Turning, Spike walked over to where she sat, tied to the tree, her chin on her chest. Tears dropped off her chin, dampening the coat with which Angel had covered her.
Kneeling in front of her, Spike gently raised her chin. One touch was all it took. He could feel it--the wrongness. The energy from the moon was destroying her slowly, from the inside out.
Pity washed over him as her eyes blinked away tears and she tried to smile. "Spike?" Her voice was so weak, like it had been six months before. He wondered how long she would survive.
"I'm here, Dru."
"I hurt," she whimpered. "It's all spoiled now."
"Shh, just rest, pet."
"Why am I tied up?" she asked in the voice of a little girl, high and tight. Spike didn't answer. He wasn't sure what the answer would be. If Buffy decided to stake Dru, could he stop her? Should he stop her? "Am I to be punished?"
"I don't know, Dru," he answered truthfully.
"I'm all hurt inside, Spike. Like Prague. Worse than Prague. Make me better?"
The hope in her teary eyes made him want to scream. For the last several days a part of him had wanted her to die...but not *this* Drusilla. "I can't."
"The ritual, the sire's blood..."
"Only once, Dru. It can only be done once." Gently he caressed her trembling cheek.
She began to cry again, softly, little whimpers of pain and misery. "I don't want to die."
Leaning forward, Spike brushed his lips across hers. "I'm sorry, luv," he whispered. "I can't stop death again."
Drusilla looked up, meeting his sorrow-filled eyes. A part of her--the small, sane part--acknowledged that he no longer loved her, but he still cared. "She won...and I lost...just like I always lose...She's *my* death..."
Watching Spike and Drusilla, Lily struggled to a sitting position. Her head swam for a moment and she braced herself with a hand on the ground.
"Buffy? Could you find me Spike's shirt?"
"Sure." Buffy jumped to her feet and hurried across the clearing.
"So, we survived," Lily said.
"A little worse for wear," Angel acknowledged.
Nodding, Lily agreed. "I could sleep for about a week."
"So...what now?"
Lily just shrugged. She hadn't given much thought past this night. Returning, Buffy handed her the shirt and Lily slipped it on, buttoning it over her naked breasts.
"My cell phone is in the bunker. I'm going to go call Giles; let him know the good guys won."
"That's a good idea. He's probably frantic," Angel said.
Kneeling beside him, Buffy gave him a tender kiss. "You'll be okay without me?"
Angel smiled slightly. "I think I'll survive...barely."
Grinning, Buffy left the clearing.
Spike strode over to Lily and Angel and dropped to his knees. "Why are you sitting up?"
Lily leaned against him, wrapping her hands around his arm. "I'm fine, William. You don't need to baby me."
"You nearly died."
Smiling, Lily kissed his cheek. "You're very sweet."
Angel snorted and the other two glared at him.
"Where did the Slayer go?" Spike asked.
"To call in the troops," Angel replied. "Maybe you should disappear."
"Angel," Lily protested.
Angel ignored her, addressing Spike. "We had a temporary truce. It's all over now. You're one of the bad guys. I'm one of the good guys."
"Fuck you."
"BOYS." At the sharpness in Lily's voice, both of the males looked at her. "No one is fighting anyone. No one is killing anyone." They both gave her disgruntled looks and she sighed. "The world nearly ended or something tonight. Can we please try to get along just a little longer?"
Spike was the first to concede. "If it's what you want, my love."
"It is. We can hash everything out tomorrow. All I want to do is find someplace to hole up and..." Meeting Spike's eyes, Lily raised her hand to his cheek and her voice softened. "I want to make love with you and sleep in your arms, knowing that nothing will separate us again."
His heart and anger melting under her intense gaze, Spike pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
Angel sighed and pulled himself to his feet. His healing chest itched and he scratched it, wincing at the sore spots. Turning, he saw that Drusilla was asleep or unconscious. He wondered what they were going to do with her.
Guilt flooded him and he sighed again, then looked in the direction that Buffy had gone. He wasn't looking forward to their talk...but he knew that it was necessary.
*****
Giles, Xander, Cordelia and Jenny followed Buffy through the woods, all happy that the good guys had saved the day, but surprised to varying degrees that Drusilla was still alive.
"Explain this to me again," Giles said sternly.
"Angel asked me not to kill her," Buffy replied impatiently, having already gone over this twice. "Do we have to rush this?"
"It *is* your duty."
"Hey, I saved the world," she said defensively, then sighed. "Okay, I didn't do much chained to a post, but..."
"Were you naked?" Xander asked. Cordelia hit him in the chest and Buffy rolled her eyes.
"So, how much damage did the quake do in town?" Buffy asked, desperate to change the topic of conversation.
"The power's out in places," Jenny said. "A few broken windows. We didn't have any problem getting here."
"I wasn't even aware that this place existed," Giles added.
"Lots of abandoned buildings in this town," Buffy said as they entered the clearing.
Angel was idly using his foot to smudge away the pentagram. Lily was cradled across Spike's lap and they were kissing. Drusilla was still tied to the tree. She looked unconscious.
"Hey Dead Boy," Xander greeted Angel. "So, you survived."
"Nice to see you too, Harris."
Buffy walked over to Angel and slipped her arms around his waist. "Miss me?" She smiled at the feel of his lips on the top of her head.
"Always."
"Gag me," Xander muttered, strolling around the clearing. Giles crouched down, examining the remains of the pentagram.
"Buffy said that Lily's ploy with the virgin blood was enough to disrupt the spell."
Angel nodded. "The spell couldn't work."
"It was very risky, hoping that the lack of virgin blood would stop everything."
"Lily and I discussed this earlier. She believes that everything was fated to happen like this. Yes, we maybe could have stopped it sooner, but, we did win...and Drusilla lost."
"Um, shouldn't we be killing her or something?" Cordelia asked, staying close to Xander who was staring at the kissing couple.
"She's no threat to anyone." Angel turned Buffy, keeping his arm around her waist.
Brushing the dirt from his hands, Giles rose to his feet. "Buffy explained that Drusilla is dying again."
"Yes...and I think her death will come rather quickly. She's seriously injured internally and there is no cure. My blood could only be used once."
"If she's going to die anyway..." Buffy began. Angel just shook his head, his heart heavy from all he had suffered in the past few days and everything he had forced upon Drusilla a century before.
Spike and Lily finally became aware of the crowd in the clearing and broke their kiss. Looking up, they saw Xander and Cordelia staring at them.
"Um, vampire on the loose," Xander said over his shoulder to the Slayer.
"Lily won't let me stake him," Buffy replied in a slightly whiny voice.
Shifting Lily off his lap, Spike rose to his feet, then helped his lover stand. Holding her close to his side, he advanced on the teenagers who backed up quickly. Lily still felt slightly lightheaded, but wrapped her arm around Spike's waist and let him guide her towards the group.
"Hi," she greeted the humans.
"Are you okay?" Jenny asked, concerned.
Lily nodded, smiling. "I'll live. That's better than I expected."
Everyone stared at Spike. He glared back.
Realizing how uncomfortable it was growing, Lily sighed and broke the momentary silence. "Spike and I are going to find some place to stay. Obviously the warehouse is out of the question, as is Buffy's. Can we save the long discussion I see brewing until tomorrow night?"
Giles nodded slowly. "What about Drusilla?"
"I'll take her home with me. She won't get away," Angel volunteered quietly.
"No," Buffy protested. "I want to tend your wounds and pamper you."
Shaking his head, Angel tried to dissuade her. "You need to get home before your mother finds you're gone and panics."
"Angel..."
"Please, Buffy." He pulled her slightly away from the rest of the group and lowered her voice. "I'm not ready, Buffy...I'm sorry."
Buffy saw the pain and exhaustion in her boyfriend's eyes and nodded slowly. She hated agreeing with him, but didn't want to add to his torment. She remembered how Willow really hadn't wanted to talk about the last few days either.
"Okay, I'll go home...but, please be careful. She's insane and she's hurt you."
"There's nothing more she can do to me, Buffy," he said compassionately. "I'll take care of her until tomorrow night and we decide what to do."
"And if we decide to kill her?"
Angel shrugged his sore shoulders and winced. "Can we cross that bridge tomorrow night?"
Stepping back from Angel, Buffy nodded in resignation. "Okay."
As Buffy turned away from her boyfriend, confused and a little hurt, Giles walked over to Angel. "Are you certain you want to do this? I could take her somewhere and restrain her."
Angel thought about his answer for a moment. "Drusilla and I have a lot to talk about, to confront. I need to deal with her, before I can talk to Buffy."
Wisely, Giles nodded in agreement, then turned back to the group. Cordelia was yawning. Jenny was examining the pentagram. Buffy was staring into space. Xander was kicking dirt and scratching his chest.
"Well, we need to clear away all evidence of this ritual before someone stumbles upon it and screams 'Satanism'."
All four humans groaned at Giles' cheerful order.
*****
After saying her goodbyes, Lily leaned against Spike and let him lead her through the woods, back to the bunker. They didn't speak. Both were tired and sore and not really sure what to say to the other.
Entering the bunker cautiously, they were glad to find it deserted. Lily pulled away from Spike and walked unsteadily over to the bag of clothes he had brought a couple of nights before.
Carrying some of her clothes, she made her way into the bathroom and washed the blood from her body as best she could, then dressed in a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and her white sneakers.
Feeling somewhat better, although still weak, Lily left the bathroom to find Spike staring at the manacles and the blood spattered wall.
She slid her arm around his waist and he looked down at her.
"I'm sorry," Spike said, unable to meet her eyes.
"For what?" Lily asked, a little surprised.
"For not rescuing you sooner," he admitted in a pain-filled voice.
Lily couldn't help but smile at the remorse in his voice. "My love, you have nothing to feel sorry about."
"I didn't do anything to stop any of this," he protested.
Caressing his cheek, Lily smiled. "You were there...you were there for me. And you saved my life. If you hadn't pushed me away from Drusilla, I would have died."
"I couldn't let you die," Spike replied harshly, pulling her into his arms. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she replied softly. "Now, take me away from here, please."
*****
Spike pulled the car into the parking lot of the first motel Lily had stayed in. As he went into the office to get a room, Lily hugged herself and smiled in anticipation. She was feeling stronger by the minute as the fresh blood surged through her veins. Her body still ached, but the desire that was growing in her easily subdued any pain she felt.
Spike returned, dangling a key, and Lily climbed out of the car, following him to a room. He unlocked the door and reached inside to turn on the light, then pulled her into the room.
Kicking the door shut, Spike swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed. As he lay her against the pillows, he gave her a concerned look. "Are you sure you feel up to doing this?"
Grinning, Lily reached up and cupped his semi-erect staff through his jeans. "I am, how about you?"
Chuckling, Spike stood up and pulled his t-shirt over his head. As he undressed, Lily kicked her shoes off and lay back to watch him uncover his gorgeous body.
Naked, Spike knelt on the bed and pulled Lily into a seated position. Their mouths met, open and hungry. Suddenly desperately needy, Lily helped him yank her shirt off and squirm out of her jeans. As he pressed her back into the bed, his fingers slid into the front of her panties and found her wet and swollen.
"Lily," he groaned.
"I need you," she moaned in response.
"I don't want to hurt you," he murmured, as he ran kisses over her face and neck.
Lily dug her fingers into his shoulders and pulled him down on top of her and between her legs. "Now, please," she begged, then sucked hard on his earlobe.
"Foreplay," he tried to explain, moving his hands to knead her breasts.
Arching against his pleasuring hands, Lily pressed her knees against his hips and rubbed her feet along the backs of his calves, making him shiver. "We have an eternity for foreplay," she whispered and bit his ear.
As lust surged through him, Spike hooked his fingers in the sides of her panties and pulled them down. Lily freed one foot, then wrapped her legs around his hips. She moaned and wriggled as his erection pressed into her stomach.
Grunting, Spike tweaked her nipples into hardness as he slid down her body and rubbed his staff over her wet cleft. As he teased her clitoris, Lily moaned and whimpered, arching her hips against him.
"I need you inside me," she begged.
Slipping his hands down, Spike cupped her buttocks and lifted her. Lily flung her head back and cried his name, as she tightened her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck.
Clenching his teeth as his need for her spun out of control, Spike thrust forward, filling her. Lily keened in pleasure and moved with him, clutching him to her.
The pressure was building inside her and she brought his mouth to hers, needing his tongue and lips and the electricity that always flowed between them when they kissed. Spike kissed her deeply as he drove into her, building his own pleasure. Suddenly, her orgasm hit, her body stiffened and she whimpered before the pleasure swamped her.
Watching her climax, Spike smiled and thrust harder. As Lily's hands slid down to the small of his back, he groaned and climaxed, spilling into her.
Collapsing beside her, Spike let his eyes fall closed, blinking away the unbidden tears.
Trembling with satisfaction, Lily curled against him, placing gentle kisses on his cool chest. As her hand moved over his cheek and touched moisture, she glanced up and was amazed to see a tear sliding from his closed eye.
Love overwhelmed her and she began to weep, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
"Why are you crying?" he asked in a strangled voice.
"Why are you?" she sobbed.
"I nearly lost you...I...the thought of that..."
Leaning up, Lily covered his mouth with hers, kissing him with tender passion. "It's over," she murmured against his trembling lips. "I'm never going to leave you," she promised.
Spike returned her kiss, twisting his lips against hers in desperation. Immediately Lily felt new passion flood her tired body and her tongue slipped inside his mouth to find his.
Moving against him, Lily moaned as his knee pressed against the throbbing flesh between her legs. "Again," she whimpered.
Catching her around the waist, Spike lifted her over him until she straddled his hips. As she rose to her knees, his hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs massaging her sensitive nipples until she moaned.
Her own hands trailed over his chest, gently pinching his nipples before sliding down to his hardening staff. Circling it with her fingers, she began to caress him, delighting in his groans of pleasure.
Rubbing against him, she brought him to full erection, then lifted her hips and took him inside her hungry body.
Spike's hands tightened around her breasts and Lily began to move, thrusting her hips against him, feeling him deep inside her. Her fingers slid between her legs to find her aching flesh. Caressing herself she began to move faster.
Bracing one hand on the bed, Lily leaned down and kissed Spike. Returning her hungry kiss, his hands caught her hips and moved her faster. She moaned into his mouth and surged against him. Her body was hot and shaking from need. Twisting her fingers over her clitoris, she shuddered and cried as her climax hit.
Slamming her down on him, Spike followed her into orgasm, crying her name and spasming inside her.
Exhausted, Lily fell forward, her head sliding into the crook of his neck. Spike's hands moved over her gently, urging her trembling legs down until she lay atop him, shaking in release.
After several minutes of comfortable silence, Lily slid to Spike's side and lay on her back, staring blankly at the ceiling. Rolling onto his side, he gazed down at her, running his hot eyes over her glistening body.
"I'm going to throw a blanket over the window and put out the 'Do Not Disturb' sign," he murmured and rose from the bed.
Sighing and smiling, Lily forced herself to rise from the bed also.
"Where are you going?" he asked as he grabbed an extra blanket from the dresser.
"I'm going to take a shower and scrub every inch of my body. I feel like I've been wallowing in blood for days."
Although amazed that she could speak so lightly about her ordeal, Spike couldn't help but smile at her words. "Luv, you have been."
Lily knew that they would need to face and discuss what had happened to her in the last few days, but right now, she was so damn happy to be alive, she found herself laughing softly.
"When you're done, my love...join me?" she asked wistfully.
Grinning in wonder and love, Spike nodded and watched Lily slip into the bathroom.
*****
As Lily and Spike left the clearing, Angel walked over to Drusilla. He untied her, then pulled her to her feet, wrapping the coat around her bruised body.
"My Angel?" she whimpered as her eyes fluttered open. Her legs gave out and he caught her up in his arms before she fell.
As the kids were policing the site under Jenny's watchful eye, Giles walked over to where Angel held Drusilla. "I'll drive you home."
"Thank you."
As they left the clearing, Angel felt Buffy's eyes on him, but couldn't look at her.
*****
His apartment was dark and cool. After bidding Giles farewell, Angel settled Drusilla on the bed and turned on the bedside lamp. Her eyes slowly focused on him as he began to search through his dresser drawers.
"Angel? Where are we?"
"My apartment," he said over his shoulder.
"Am I to stay with you?" she asked in a childish voice.
"For tonight." He pulled a pair of handcuffs out of the bottom drawer and turned to find her trying to sit up. He had never seen her so weak. Sitting down next to her, he took one of her trembling hands and locked the handcuff around it, then attached it to the cast iron headboard.
"I was going to chain you to *my* bed...Are you going to hurt me?"
"No."
Her eyes ran over his marred chest. "Will you?"
"No, Dru. I don't hurt people on purpose anymore."
She whimpered. "I need you to hurt me, daddy." Her free hand found his knee and began to slide up his thigh. He caught it and lifted it away from him.
"You're already hurt, Dru. I can see the pain in your eyes."
Her head rolled slightly on the pillow and she murmured, "When I hurt, I know I'm alive."
"Just rest, Dru. I'm going to take a shower."
As Angel rose from the bed, Drusilla pulled the coat down to her waist, looking down at the dried blood covering her breasts. He immediately looked away. "I need a bath, too."
"After I shower, Drusilla." Sighing, wondering what the Hell he was doing, Angel headed for the bathroom.
*****
Tired, head aching, Buffy crept up to Willow's outside door and knocked softly. A few minutes later, a light came on and the curtain parted. Willow blinked several times, then smiled happily and opened the door.
Buffy fell into her best friend's arms and both girls began to cry in joy. They sank onto the bed, hugging and sniffling.
"We won?"
"Yeah."
"I knew we would. What happened?"
Pulling back from Willow, Buffy ran her hands over her face, brushing her tears away, then softly filled in her best friend on the events of the last several hours.
"Angel really took that witch home?" Willow asked, surprised.
Buffy nodded, swallowing hard. "I don't understand it at all. She...she tortured him, yet he feels sorry for her."
Willow frowned and gave Buffy a wary look. "I do know that Angel feels guilty for things he did to her in the past," she said slowly.
"Yeah, I know. He told me how he killed her family and tortured her before he turned her."
Nibbling on her lip, Willow decided to tell Buffy a bit more. "He tortured her after, too."
"Huh?"
"After he turned her. I don't know much, but she would babble stuff. He...beat her...and she liked it."
"Wha...? I don't understand. Angel?"
"Not the Angel we know, who loves you. The demon...the demon was, well, a demon. Spike said that Angelus destroyed Drusilla over the years."
"I just can't see it. I look at Angel and I see someone so good, so loving..."
"It's his soul...and it's a soul full of remorse. I think...I think the things she did to him...he felt he deserved them," Willow said carefully.
Buffy sighed and nodded. "Brooding, morose guy mode."
"It's more serious than that, Buffy. He lives with the memories of what his demon did and he can't separate the two identities."
"I know. I just hope he knows what he's doing."
*****
Clean and feeling half-way human, Angel exited the bathroom wearing a pair of navy boxer shorts. His wounds were mostly healed, though his chest was still tender. Drusilla lay on her side, watching him. She looked a little stronger.
"All clean, Angel?"
"I feel better," he admitted. He unhooked her wrist and helped her off the bed. Drusilla swayed and grabbed his arm, dropping the coat to the floor. Angel tried to avoid looking at her naked body.
"I'm hungry," she whined.
"You can eat after you're clean," Angel said, helping her walk to the bathroom.
"You used to lick me clean," she hinted.
"We'll try a bath this time."
Sitting Drusilla on the covered toilet, Angel knelt on the rug and began to fill the bath with warm water.
"Do you have bubble bath? I like rosy smelling bubble bath," she said in a high voice.
"Um, I don't think so." He concentrated on filling the bath, making sure the water was the right temperature.
"Will you wash my hair? My mummy used to wash my hair. It's all bloody. Mummy's hair was all bloody when I found her. Her throat was gone and everything was red..."
Fighting back the need to apologize, Angel turned off the taps and turned towards Drusilla. Giving him an adoring smile, she took his hand and allowed him to help her into the tub.
Sighing in joy, she sank into the warm water which quickly turned pink. Picking up a sponge and some soap, Angel began to bathe her. As he gently rubbed the sponge over her body, Drusilla purred like a kitten. Her white skin was covered in bruises and he knew he had to be hurting her.
He also knew every touch of the sponge was giving her pleasure along with pain.
Silently cursing himself for the millionth time, Angel fought the urge to scream and apologize and continued to bathe her.
*****
Yawning, Buffy slipped into her bedroom. Her alarm clock glowed with the numbers five, one and eight. It was nearly dawn and she had school in three hours. You'd think that saving the world would mean automatic holiday, but apparently not.
Exhausted, she pulled off her clothes and fell into bed wearing only a pair of pink panties.
One more crisis adverted. One more demonic plan stopped. One more vampire queen defeated.
The Slayer had survived another night in Sunnyhell.
*****
Wrapping Drusilla in a large towel, Angel carried her back to the bed. After drying her off, he dressed her in a white t- shirt that hung almost to her knees.
Weak and tired, she sank onto the bed and leaned back against the headboard. "I hurt," she whimpered.
"I know, Dru," Angel replied again. She was becoming more and more childlike as the night passed and he couldn't help but feel compassionate towards her. As he reached for her hand, she shook him off and locked her wrist in the handcuff.
"I know I've been naughty, daddy."
Once, she would have said that coyly, but Angel was beginning to believe that Drusilla was truly losing touch with maturity.
"Can I have dinner now?" she asked hopefully.
Nodding, Angel headed for the kitchen. When he returned with three bags of blood, she made a moue of distaste.
"Can't I have fresh?"
"No, Drusilla. I don't kill, remember?"
"Oh...yes...you're good daddy now."
Nodding, he sat down again and, opening one of the bags, held it to her lips. She drank noisily, smacking her lips and giggling. "It feels funny, the baggy, like those rubbery things Spike used to put on his thingie, except they had lots of little spikes. French ticklers, he called them. I don't know why they were French, but they did tickle." She giggled again. "He liked me to use my teeth to pull them off of him."
Angel stared at her as he drained one of the bags into his own mouth. Patience was certainly called for and was definitely a virtue...
"Can I have more?"
Nodding, he gave her the other bag, which she slurped down. As he took the empty bags to the garbage, Drusilla stretched out on the bed, yawning.
"Will you sleep with me, my Angel?"
"I'd like to talk first, Drusilla." She blinked up at him, then nodded. Pulling the blankets up to her waist, Angel sat down again.
"Do you want to talk about how naughty I've been?" she asked hesitantly.
"No, well, I do want to talk about the last few days...and one hundred and forty years ago."
A cold mask dropped over her face and she shook her head. "I don't want to talk about then."
"Drusilla." The firm tone of his voice made her look up at him, blinking. "I hurt you, badly, back then," he admitted. She started to protest and he held up a hand, silencing her. "I know, you say that you enjoyed it and I know you did. I taught you to enjoy pain."
"I like pain," she agreed softly.
Angel wished he could still breathe, because he really felt like taking a deep, calming breath. This was harder than he had thought it would be.
"Because I forced you to like it. It doesn't have to be that way between a man and a woman," he tried to explain.
Drusilla reached out and took his hand, giving him a solemn, suddenly sane look. "I know, Angel. Spike never hurt me, never beat me, never burned me, never fucked me. But, oh, sometimes I wanted him to. He would tell me that love and desire were all that were important...and he'd be so gentle with me. I'd lay there, all aglow with pleasure, as we made love, and my mind would wander away, wander back." Her voice took on a dreamy quality and she caressed Angel's palm with her soft fingers.
"I'd see us in my mind. My back would be covered in blood from lash wounds. I'd be on my stomach on the altar in the basement and you'd be in my bottom, hurting me, tearing me. You'd call me dirty names and bite my back...and I'd climax over and over again, screaming your name."
"Oh, Dru, I'm so sorry," he choked out.
"That's okay," she said sweetly, patting his hand. "I did like it. You don't need to be sorry."
"Yes I do, but I don't think you will ever understand why."
As he bent his head, trying to reconcile himself with the truth of his creation, he felt her hand brushing his damp hair off his forehead and tears started to fall from his troubled eyes.
Murmuring comfort words, Drusilla drew Angel down against her breasts, stroking his head as his tears fell faster. "It's okay, Angel. It's okay."
End Chapter 22