As she relaxed, no longer hampered by overwhelming desire, Lily's mind began to sort itself out. Spike had come back for her. He hadn't tried to kill her. He still wanted her...
Wonder shimmered through her as she remembered his words at the Bronze. I can love, he had said, and then he had kissed her. Did he love her?
Of equal importance, did she love him?
Disturbed by her thoughts, Lily pulled away from Spike and climbed off the bed. Finding her dress in a pile on the floor, she slipped it over her head, then went on a hunt for her panties. After locating them under the lone chair and putting them on, she turned to find Spike buttoning the one remaining button on his shirt.
He grinned at her. "You're a little hard on my clothes."
"It makes us even for the blouse you tore open last night." Lily breezed past him to the bathroom to brush her hair and reapply her lipstick. When she returned to the dingy bedroom, Spike was waiting for her, holding her jacket. Lily slipped it on, enjoying the feel of his hands lingering on her shoulders, then turned to face him. Their eyes met.
Spike was the first to break the silence. "We really do need to talk." Lily nodded wordlessly and let him take her hand and lead her from the room.
*****
In a warehouse across town, Drusilla sat at her vanity, slowly drawing an antique silver brush through her hair and humming to herself.
Earlier in the evening she had been very angry with Spike for ignoring her then disappearing on her, but gradually her anger had dissipated. Gently a vision had come to her, vivid and vibrant as if it happened before her eyes. That female, the important one. She was with Spike and Spike was touching her face, caressing her as he was only supposed to do to *her*. That female would pay. Her blood would flow beneath the crescent moon. She would suffer...and Spike would suffer...and Drusilla would suffer no longer.
When the vision ended, Drusilla's mind cleared and her heart hardened. Spike was no longer her's--she could feel it deep inside--but that would not last for long. He only needed to be reminded that she was the only female for him...and if she had to slaughter every other female in Sunnydale, she'd do so!
So, Drusilla put on her prettiest red dress and began to brush her long black curls, making herself beautiful to entice her lover back to her side.
Setting her brush aside, Drusilla rose to her feet and glided out of her room, intent on finding Spike and reminding him that they belonged together until the end of time.
*****
After a short, quiet walk, hand in hand, Lily and Spike found themselves in the park where they had first met. They made their way to the bench where he had first bitten her and sat, their arms around each other's waists. Lily let her head rest against his shoulder, marveling at how comfortable and how important something as simple as this could be.
Spike sighed and began. "I was shocked when you told me you had been a Slayer." Lily stiffened slightly, but didn't move away from him. They had to get this out in the open. "I had one of my people do some research on vampires who were once Slayers. He found out that you still have a soul."
"Yes," Lily murmured.
"You don't kill humans, do you?"
"Not very often--not if I can help it. None of us need to kill; we only need a little..."
Spike put a finger over her lips, preventing her from continuing. "There are a lot of differences between us. We'll get to that." He paused for a moment. "You do kill vampires."
Lily nodded reluctantly.
"You think we're evil, demons."
"I *know* you're evil demons."
"Yet, here you sit all cuddled up with one."
Lily jerked away from him, rising to her feet and planting her hands on her hips. "You can't help yourself, can you Spike? You just have to be a pain in the ass!"
This time, Spike didn't smile at her words. He was being one hundred percent serious. "We need to get all this out if we're going to have any chance in Hell of understanding what is happening between us."
Lily sat back down, but at the end of the bench. She placed her hands in the pockets of her jacket and stared straight ahead.
"Can we both admit that we are incredibly attracted to each other?" Spike continued. Lily nodded. "We can't keep our hands off each other. Three nights in a row and, as soon as we see one another, we're falling into bed. And the sex is fantastic."
"There's more to a relationship than sex. There has to be," Lily said a little dully.
"Sure, but it's a good place to start." Out of the corner of her eye Lily could see him looking at her in a calculating fashion. "So, am I the first vampire you've been attracted to?"
"No." When he didn't respond immediately, she chose not to elaborate.
"Am I the first vampire you've had sex with?" Lily shook her head. "Luv, it would really help if you actually chimed into the conversation."
"I'm attracted to you. I look at you and I want to rip your clothes off. I touch you and I want to..." Lily swallowed hard. "I want to drink from you," she said, her voice fading away in the end. Her hands in her lap gripped each other until the bones nearly showed through the skin.
"I don't know what I feel for you. I should hate you. I should feel disgust. I should want to kill you...You are my enemy..." She shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts and make sense. "I am a Slayer," she said strongly. "You are a vampire, a demon, spawn of Satan. I have killed thousands of your brethren. I should be able to do the same to you with no hesitation." She fell silent, unable to speak any more as tears began to form in her eyes and tighten her throat.
"But, you can't," Spike voiced her unspoken thoughts. "Because you love me." The gentleness of his voice forced the gathering sobs from her. Spike pulled her into his arms to comfort her and Lily went eagerly, needing to be held as the truth blasted through her.
"Yes," she sobbed in a strangled voice. "God forgive me, I love you."
*****
Drusilla headed unerringly for the park, knowing that she would find Spike there somewhere. He just had better not be with that female!
*****
In Spike's arms, the truth now out, Lily began to calm down. She loved him. Now she needed to learn how to live with that fact. She wanted to slink away and think about it for an eternity at least, but she knew there was a lot more that needed to be said. A relationship between them was still nigh on impossible.
Her sobbing finished, Lily lay spent and quiet in Spike's embrace. "I love you, too," he whispered. Lily shivered and held him tighter.
After a few more moments, she gently pulled away, sitting up straight and brushing the remaining tears from her eyes.
"So, where do we go from here?" Spike asked. Lily just shook her head. "Maybe we should get to know each other better." Lily gave a short laugh at the irony of that statement, but nodded in agreement. "Why did you come to Sunnydale?"
"I came to California back in the 20s and immediately felt the presence of the Hellmouth. I avoided coming here and even forgot about its existence for long periods of time, but about two months ago, something began to draw me here. Finally, I gave in and decided to check it out."
"Supernatural creatures are drawn here," Spike began.
"Evil creatures are drawn here because of the Hellmouth. I'm not evil."
"No, you're not, but you *are* a vampire. You have a soul, but you don't have a resident demon, do you?" Lily shook her head. "That's why your face doesn't change, why religious artifacts don't hurt you."
"I have a theory on that. God made Slayers to fight vampires and other demons. If a Slayer became a vampire and was replaced by a demon, that would defeat the purpose. So, He made it so a Slayer would keep her soul and remain demon free, still able to slay."
"But, you still need blood to survive."
"Yes, well, maybe His attention was elsewhere at that moment in time. It's just a theory, Spike."
Spike looked thoughtfully at her. "How many vampires have you killed in the last three hundred years?"
Lily wasn't really surprised that he knew how old she was. "I don't know," she said slowly. "I originally kept count, but after several decades that seemed pointless. There have been some years when I haven't killed any. Others, in which I have killed hundreds. Slaying vampires has been my life's purpose for over three hundred years."
Lily looked at Spike and could tell he didn't like her answer. Tough, how many humans had he killed in his two hundred year existence?
"My turn to ask some questions," Lily began. "Does your girlfriend know about us?"
Spike had the grace to look embarrassed as he shook his head. "No. I can't tell her. She's already nuttier than a fruitcake...and she's very dangerous."
"So, for the next millennium, we're just going to sneak around behind her back?"
Spike glowered at the sarcasm in her voice. "I know I *have* to tell her. It's just not going to be easy. We've been together for over one hundred years."
"That's pretty amazing in itself, but then emotionally damaged as she is, she was dependent on you and then she was injured, nearly killed and really needed you. That must have been quite an ego boost for you. Vampire females tend to be pretty self reliant."
"Yes, I liked her being dependent on me," Spike replied in a slightly angry voice.
"And, now, she's all better. She doesn't need you any more."
"I can handle that."
"But, you can't handle being dependent on her," Lily said shrewdly. The dark look that suffused Spike's face told her that her guess was accurate.
"No," he said through gritted teeth. "Dru wants to take care of me as if I were a babe in swaddling clothes, feed me pap and push me around in a wheelchair like it was a pram. I hate it."
"Have you told her?"
"No. I didn't realize how dissatisfied I was until I met you."
Their eyes met again and Lily instinctively reached for his hands. They sat in comfortable silence for awhile, drowning in each other's eyes, until Lily leaned forward and kissed him gently. When she pulled back, she gave him a sad smile.
"You have to tell her that it's over. We can't have anything until she's out of your life."
Spike nodded, slowly accepting what had to be done. He didn't want to hurt Drusilla, but he couldn't live without Lily.
*****
Hidden behind a tree twenty feet from the bench where the two lovers sat, Drusilla stiffened in fury. She had come upon them as that bitch asked Spike if he had told his girlfriend about them. His girlfriend! Reduced to that simple, childish term. She was his lover, his goddess, his LIFE!
So, Spike didn't like her taking care of him; didn't like being the dependent one in the relationship; didn't like needing her to survive. The ungrateful bastard!
Without her, he would have died in that church. She would have to remind him of that...painfully.
Drusilla's eyes travelled to the female. That bitch had stolen her lover and would pay with her life's blood. Drusilla would have Spike back, even if she had to chain him to her with every love spell she knew...but only after he had suffered the sight of his new love dying in agony!
The sight of them kissing nearly sent Drusilla flying from behind the tree, but she got herself under control, digging her nails into her arms to prevent them from finding the other female's throat. Not yet. Seven nights. The night of the crescent moon. The bitch would give Drusilla the world.
All she had to do was figure out the rest of the spell.
*****
Angel entered the park from the south, his senses alert for signs of Lily and Spike. He had wanted to follow them from the outset, but his need to protect Buffy had overwhelmed that desire. Once Buffy and Willow were safely at the Rosenberg residence, he had tried to pick up Lily and Spike's trail. He had checked the motel she had been living in, but there was no sign of them.
After wandering aimlessly around Sunnydale for nearly two hours, he decided to look in the park. As he walked down one of the many paths towards the center, a streak of red caught the corner of his eye. Whirling around, he caught a glimpse of a dark haired woman racing with supernatural speed across the soccer field. Before he could blink, she disappeared in the trees. A vampire?
For a moment, Angel thought about going after the woman- -it might have been Lily--but, he wasn't in the mood for a run. If it was her, hopefully, he would catch up with her on the other side of the park. He continued down the path.
Ten minutes later Angel found the two lovers sitting on a park bench holding hands. He quickly forgot about the vampire he had seen, glad to see that Lily was alright. As his scent reached the couple, Spike reared to his feet, his face changing as he positioned himself in front of Lily. He was protecting her!
Amazed, Angel put up his hands in mock surrender, knowing as long as Lily was there, he was in no real danger.
Recognizing his sire, Spike relaxed. His face returned to normal and he crossed his arms over his chest, but he maintained his stance in front of Lily.
Lily sighed. "Spike, this is all very sweet, but I don't need protecting...especially from Angel." She put one hand on his rear end and gently nudged him aside.
Spike gave her a disgruntled look, then sighed and sat back down, placing his arm possessively over Lily's shoulders. Lily felt like giggling at this macho display, but restrained herself.
"So, mate, what do you want?" Spike asked Angel in a clipped, bored tone of voice.
"I just wanted to make sure Lily was okay. Vampires shouldn't be trusted, you know."
"Cute," Spike growled at the challenging tone of Angel's voice.
Lily placed her hand gently on Spike's leg, calming him with her touch. "I'm fine, Angel. Spike won't hurt me."
Angel just shook his head at what he saw to be her overconfidence. "You should know better than that! Vampires are fickle, evil demons. He could turn on you in five minutes and drain you dry."
Lily pulled away from Spike and rose to her feet to walk over to Angel. "I know that," she said in a quiet voice. "But, he won't. I know his heart, Angel. Demons do have them, you know."
Angel didn't look happy. "They *barely* have them and they seek out their own kind. Vampires don't love humans and they don't love former Slayers."
"Then, that's for me to deal with. Look, the chivalry is sweet and I understand why you think you need to protect me, but it's unnecessary. I was a mortal Slayer for nearly ten years in a city teeming with vampires. Do you know how few Slayers before and after me lived even half that long? I took care of myself when I was mortal and I can certainly take care of myself as a vampire with a soul."
The unhappy look on Angel's face slowly gave way to grudging acceptance. "I hate this."
"Live with it," Spike said with a snort.
Lily rolled her eyes and pushed Angel back as he started for Spike. "That's enough out of both of you," she snapped. She looked back up at Angel. "If Spike turns on me, I'll survive or I won't, but I can't walk away from him." She gave Angel a pleading look. "I love him."
Tenderly, regretfully, Angel cupped her chin, then gave her a sweet kiss on the forehead. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow night." He turned and disappeared into the darkness.
*****
Hysterical in her fury, Drusilla tore into her room and began to shred her lacy bedding, tearing open pillows and ripping the hangings down and flinging them across the room. Shrieking in rage, she flung perfume bottles and porcelain figurines against the farthest wall, then turned over her vanity table.
After destroying her room and sending her minions fleeing with her soul-ripped screams, she slowly collapsed into a sobbing heap, clutching a doll to her breast.
"Oh, Miss Edith, mummy's love is gone...all gone. Her heart is black and dead," Drusilla crooned in an insane whisper. "But they shall pay, they shall all pay. Blood will be my recompense....and pain so sweet will destroy them..."
*****
Back in the park, Lily rejoined Spike on the bench, easily slipping into his arms. They kissed for a few minutes, then just held each other.
"I won't turn on you," Spike promised.
Lily knew he truly believed that. Only time would tell..."I know."
After a few more minutes of quiet comfort, Spike pulled back from her. Standing up, he stuck his hands in his coat pockets and gave her an uncomfortable look. "I need to feed," he said baldly.
Lily nodded slowly. "You don't need to kill...," she began.
Spike just shook his head. "I am what I am. But, I know you won't want to witness it."
No, she didn't want to witness it. Just the thought of him killing for pleasure, for food, made her very uncomfortable. If she couldn't change him, it was something she was going to have to grow accustomed to, but not yet. "Would my blood satisfy you?" she asked hopefully.
"No. It has to be human."
Lily gave him a sad look, then nodded in understanding. She really hated this.
Spike reached down and tugged her gently to her feet and into his arms. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with all the passion inside her. Her lips slid along his jaw to his ear. "You haven't had your fix...," she whispered and bit his ear.
Spike sighed and dipped his head to the side of her neck to suck hungrily for a moment, then pulled back slightly. One of his hands reached up to catch her wrist and bring it to his mouth. Lily caught a glimpse of his demon and his fangs then gasped as painful pleasure flowed up her arm from his bite.
Her head fell onto his shoulder and she watched him slowly suck the blood from the veins in her wrist. Trusting him completely, she closed her eyes, reveling in the pleasure that shivered through her.
After drinking a cup or so, Spike pulled back and swept Lily up into his arms. In swift strides he carried her back to the motel where she had left her car. A couple of times Lily protested that she could walk on her own, but he ignored her, feeling strong enough to carry her to the ends of the Earth.
When they reached the car, he set her down on her feet.
"Will you talk to Drusilla tonight?" she asked hesitantly.
"I don't know. I don't want to push this, Lily. You don't know what she might do," he replied, trying to rationalize his hesitation. Lily sighed and nodded. Spike gave her a quick kiss. "Meet me at the bench tomorrow, ten o'clock?"
"Since I can't seem to keep away from the bloody park, it seems inevitable that we'll meet there," Lily answered with a quirky smile. She kissed him, then slid behind the wheel of her car. Somehow she had managed to keep a hold of her purse the whole time and began to dig through it for her keys. When she glanced up, Spike was gone. With a slight smile on her face, Lily started the car and headed towards Buffy's house. They needed to have a talk and she wasn't looking forward to it.
*****
Lily parked across the street from Buffy's house and got out of her car. The house was dark and a glance at her watch showed her it was after 1:30 a.m. Silently she climbed onto the porch roof and knelt outside of Buffy's window. For a few minutes she debated over whether to knock or not, then finally slid the window open and climbed inside.
Although Lily's entry had been nearly soundless, Buffy woke with a start and turned on the bedside lamp.
"Wha..?"
"It's just me," Lily whispered.
Buffy sat up, rubbing her eyes, then quickly came to her senses and glared at Lily. "You're still alive I see, or whatever you are."
Lily rolled her eyes and plopped down in the chair. "I didn't mean to wake you, but, now that you're up, I think we need to talk."
"No shit."
Lily chuckled. "You have some mouth, kid."
Buffy fixed her pillows behind her so that she could sit propped up, then crossed her arms across her chest. "I bet Spike says the same thing about you."
Lily was just in too damn good a mood to let Buffy's snide comments bother her. "I've had no complaints." Buffy scowled some more. "Seriously, Buffy, we need to get this out. You don't like me, do you?" Before Buffy could answer, Lily continued. "And, it's not because I'm a vampire--it can't be or you'd never be able to respond to Angel the way you do--so why?"
Buffy's eyes slid away from Lily. "I realized something tonight," she began slowly. "I could be you. I could be with Angel forever, both of us with souls..." Buffy ran her hands over her face and looked squarely at Lily. "But, I don't want to be a vampire. I...I like the sun too much. I want to grow old and someday have a career and maybe kids."
There was so much hope in Buffy's voice, that Lily didn't have the heart to say anything to quash it, but Buffy continued. "Oh, I know, the chances of that are...nil. For nearly two years I've lived my life day to day...trying not to think about the future. I don't have a future," she finished harshly.
Lily didn't know what to say. She had gone through something similar to this at about Buffy's age, but there wasn't anything she could say to comfort the young Slayer because what Buffy said was all too true.
"Is it worth it?"
The question from Buffy came from out of left field. Lily gave her a quizzical look.
"Being a vampire--being alive forever."
Lily didn't need to think about her answer. "No."
Buffy nodded, trying to accept her fate.
"After three hundred and thirty two years, I still wish that they had killed me." Lily paused for a moment. "You've been a Slayer for two years. Are you tired of the endless hunting, the endless killing?"
"Yes."
"Think about doing it for centuries. It's all I've really done since 1666. At least, before being turned, I had my husband and all the attractions of daytime London to break up the monotony. There are just so many books one can read, so many movies one can see. Museums, zoos, outdoor attractions, these are mostly denied me because they aren't open during the day."
"I've seen every play ever written performed by everything from school children to Broadway casts, heard every piece of music ever composed played on every instrument ever invented, but, at some point, you know it all--you've memorized it all. So, you wait for the next new story or piece of music. Thank God for television--it's kept me sane since the 1940s. And, now, as it grows stale--they keep repeating the same old stories, only adding more curse words--we have the Internet to keep us entertained, but for how long?"
"Believe me, Buffy, even if you die tomorrow, it's better than this. It has to be."
It was obvious that Buffy was having a hard time digesting all this. "So, is Spike just something to divert yourself with? Are you that bored?"
"No, actually, my time here in Sunnydale has been much more interesting than anything I've done since the 1960s. I really enjoyed the whole hippie life and actually didn't kill any vampires for about three years in the late sixties, early seventies. I just kind of hung out in San Francisco," she explained. "You and your friends, the prophecy, meeting Angel again--it's all given me something to do outside of slaying."
"So, the thing with Spike is real?" Buffy shuddered at the thought.
Lily grew serious. "I love him and he loves me."
Buffy's face screwed up. "EUUUU."
Lily rolled her eyes again. Sometimes she felt so damn old...
*****
Warily Spike entered the warehouse and found it to be deserted. That was odd. Usually by two o'clock most of his followers had fed and returned to the lair--after all, except for on Friday and Saturday nights, Sunnydale shut down by midnight.
Maybe there was a party somewhere and he'd been left out of the loop.
Spike opened the door to the room he shared with Drusilla and stared in shock. It was a disaster, totally destroyed. What the Hell had happened? Had the Slayer...? Spike began to panic. If the Slayer had found their home while he had been with Lily... "DRU!"
Spike called her name again as he returned to the main room. He was about to yell for a third time when she stepped out of the library, carrying an open book.
She spoke without looking at him, intently reading the ancient pages. "Hello, Spike."
Relief flooded him. "There you are, Dru. What happened here?" He took her in his arms, so relieved to see that she was alright that he didn't realize she didn't hug him back.
Drusilla pulled gently away and glided over to the table. She placed the book down on it then gave him an angelic smile. "I've found it. The key. She's the key."
Spike shook his head at her dazed condition. "Our room, who destroyed it? Dru?" he asked sternly.
Drusilla gave him a small pout, then began to smile again. "I had a vision....We're going to take over the world." She winked at him, then floated over to the stereo system. A minute later the earthy voice of Aretha Franklin filled the cavernous room and Drusilla began to sway to the music, singing along in her insane little voice.
*You better think (THINK!)
Think about what you're trying to do to me
Think (THINK THINK)
Let your mind go. Let yourself go free*
Well, tonight was definitely not the night to tell her. Spike sat down at the table and took a look at the book she was so interested in. An ancient tome of spells, translated into English several hundred years before. Suddenly more interested, Spike began to read the handwritten notes that filled the margins of the open pages. Reversing time?
Conveniently, Drusilla had listed the ingredients needed for the spell. Night of the crescent moon, virgin blood but not virgin, two dark goddesses, evil and good. Oh, wasn't this just bloody vague enough!
"We're going to change time," Drusilla sang as she floated past him. "Night into day and day into night." Suddenly, she sat down on the table next to the book and became serious. "And you'll help me, won't you Spike? Help me take over the world?"
He replied automatically. "Of course, my sweet."
Drusilla smiled down at Spike, showing him all the love she still felt for him, though her heart burned even brighter with hatred. Oh, he would pay. He would unwittingly help her destroy the black haired bitch who had stolen his heart. That would be the worst punishment of all.
Until she thought of a new one...
*You need me and I need you
Without each other there ain't nothing we can do*
*****
"How can you be in love with Spike? You've known him what, three days?" Buffy demanded in a quiet, yet agitated voice.
"You are very young, Buffy. Love can't be put on a time table. It can happen instantly or over time."
"And it happened instantly?"
"Well, I can't say that it happened instantly, although I was attracted to him, but it has grown swiftly into love. It's more than just passion. It's very different from the love I still feel for my husband, but it's love all the same."
"And he loves you back?"
Lily nodded.
"What about Dru?"
"Well, that is a problem. I told him we can't have any kind of relationship until she knows it's over."
Buffy's head jerked up at that. "Relationship? You really are insane. You can't have a relationship with a homicidal maniac!"
Lily fought to keep a spurt of anger under control. She could understand Buffy's attitude, but she didn't have to like it. "We're never going to see eye to eye on this, so, why don't we drop the subject."
Buffy frowned for a few seconds, then sighed. "Alright. But, don't come crying to me when this all blows up in your face. Oh God. I sound like my mom!"
Lily chuckled. "You need to get back to sleep. One hour and two minutes until 3:09."
Buffy groaned but nodded, then lay back down. "Will you stay with me until then?" she asked as she reached for the lamp.
"Yes."
The room plunged into darkness and Lily stretched her legs out in front of her, closing her own eyes as her mind ran over the events of the previous evening.
*****
Spike was attempting to put the bedroom back into some semblance of order when he heard Drusilla cry out and then a thump in the outer room. Racing out the door, he found her in a heap on the floor, moaning.
As he scooped her up into his arms, she started babbling. "3:09, 3:09, 3:09. The time is the time. The darkness will come, the dark goddess will die, the darkness will come, the dark goddess will die." She continued to chant her mantra for a full minute as he cradled her in his arms on a sofa, then her eyes flew open and their intensity startled him.
"Are you alright, Dru? You had a vision."
"A wonderful vision. She dies, she dies, she dies," Drusilla sang in joy. She scrambled off his lap and twirled around, then yelled one more time in his face. "SHE DIES."
*****
Buffy jerked awake, moaning and whimpering. Lily was sitting at the foot of the bed and she turned on the tape recorder. "What happened?" she asked.
"Oh God, no, no, no," Buffy moaned.
Lily persisted. "Buffy, what did you see?"
Buffy sat up and grabbed Lily's arm. With her preternatural vision, Lily could clearly see the panic in Buffy's eyes. "You die. I saw you die..."
End Chapter 9