It took years for their relationship to develop--wasted years, he realized, as he sat by his lover's bed watching him slowly die. He held the mortal's hand, every wrinkle, every liver spot as well- known as his own few freckles and the scar in his eyebrow. He felt the quiver beneath his strong fingers and knew it wouldn't be long.
How many humans had he held as they died, reveling in their pain and fear? More than he could bear to count, but he futilely wished he could have suffered as they had. Anything to prepare himself for this.
But while he'd lost many friends and even past lovers, this was all new to him.
When his lover finally drifted into an uneasy sleep, he reached over and turned off the lamp, leaving the room lit only by moonlight and a nightlight of Betty Boop straddling a crescent moon.
Leaning back in his chair, his hand never leaving contact with the other man's, Spike let his mind drift to happier times.
~~~~~
"Oh, come on, she's a sex pot, she is," Spike cajoled, waving the boxed nightlight in his companion's face.
Giles frowned that stern watcher frown of his and shook his head. "I have antique Tiffany lamps in my flat. This would not go with them."
"Betty goes with everything," Spike pouted. "And I thought it was our flat."
"It is, but..." Finally, under the pathetic look of the extremely manipulative vampire, Giles acquiesced with a loud sigh and bought the tacky nightlight.
Later, beneath the soft red glow of her dress, Spike gave his lover the best blowjob of his life, causing him to shred the pillow blocking his loud cries of pleasure.
~~~~~
"What are you thinking?"
The dry, wispy voice from the bed startled Spike out of his thoughts and he moved, sitting carefully next to the shrunken form buried beneath a duvet and quilts. He rubbed his thumb across the back of Giles' hand as he squeezed it gently. "Nothing important, luv. I thought you'd gone to sleep."
"...Did. Don't want to sleep. Not yet." The eyes that looked up at his forever-young lover were faded in color but still wise. "Going to sleep forever soon enough."
"Don't say that," Spike replied automatically.
Giles managed a slight smile. "You always were a fighter. Don't want me to go?"
"The sooner you're gone, the sooner I have this flat all to myself." Spike scowled down at his lover. "Don't be a prat."
"Love me?"
The momentary anger was pushed aside by the familiar sorrow, and Spike nodded helplessly. "I just wish it hadn't taken so long to realize it."
"Starting as enemies didn't help."
Spike waved that off. "It would have helped if you hadn't kept trying to kill me."
"Once."
"More than that. I nearly died of hunger chained in your bathtub."
Giles' cracked, pale lips twitched. "Death by neglect doesn't count."
Spike burst out laughing, and leaned down to kiss the dying man, whispering, "Yeah, that's one reason I love you."
"What are the others?" Giles whispered back.
"Let me count the ways?" the vampire replied wistfully, sitting back up.
"Just don't rhyme it."
Spike sighed heavily in mock affront. "Always the critic." He forestalled Giles' next comment, noting the pallor that talking was producing. "Okay, okay. Well, first..." He gave him a wicked grin. "There's that sweet arse of yours, so tight and firm, and the way you hum around my willie..."
As Giles attempted to scowl, Spike changed tack and gentled his voice, "I remember the day it happened, luv, as if it was yesterday and not nearly forty years ago."
~~~~~
He hadn't come to the visitation or the funeral service, but the internment was held beneath dark clouds swollen with rain, and he stood beneath a sheltering tree, at a distance, watching.
Buffy was buried in England where she'd lived for nearly ten years, helping train the slayers created through Willow's spell. She'd tried living without slaying, but after only one year had realized the impossibility. It was ingrained in her very soul. So, she'd joined the Watcher's Academy and her old friends and continued to fight the good fight.
Until something bigger and nastier had taken her out of the battle.
Spike had kept his distance, fighting his own battles in L.A., waiting for Buffy to take the initiative, but not really surprised that she never had.
Nor was he surprised that the grief he felt wasn't all that strong. Time and distance didn't make the heart grow fonder, and while he'd always love her, he knew that love was of the past. It was an emotion he was quite familiar with.
As the minister said a few words over the casket, Spike watched as Dawn approached to lay a white rose atop the gleaming wood, a little girl at her side. He'd heard the niblet had married several years ago and known there was a child, but they too had lost touch.
Following Dawn came other familiar faces, including Angel who really wasn't welcome either but had been grudgingly accepted and allowed to pay his respects, until finally only one was left.
In his hand was clutched a red rose and he kissed it before placing it on the casket. From the distance Spike could hear the hitch in his breath, could see the tears falling down his cheeks. This man, who had been the father of her heart.
Compassion filled him, and he watched Giles for the rest of the brief ceremony, then watched him follow the others out of the small cemetery, head bowed, hands dug deeply into his coat pockets. Spike sank deeper into the shadows of the tree, but he wasn't surprised when the watcher stopped and turned to face him.
"Why didn't you join us?"
Hesitantly, Spike stepped out from behind the tree, shrugging his shoulders in his familiar leather coat. "Didn't think it was my place."
"You always were a berk." But there was a slight smile on Giles face and he held out his hand. "Come on. The others are going back to the academy for tea. Let's go to the pub and get pissed."
~~~~~
"Only you, Spike, would fall in love over someone's grave."
"That was only the first spark, Rupert. Love doesn't happen overnight, no matter what the poets say." He lifted the withered hand to his lips. "Can take years, decades."
"Drusilla," Giles breathed pointedly.
"Yeah. Instant attraction, next came lust, need, caring, tenderness, but I didn't love her until she broke when Angel left us. I picked up the pieces and fell in love as I helped her rebuild. She was my princess, my everything for nearly a hundred years, and we loved even though you watchers said we couldn't." He smiled despite his stern comment. "Aren't you glad?"
"I'm glad she made you, Will."
"So am I, Rupert. It would have been a tragedy if we'd never met."
"Because of my sweet arse?" Giles coughed out.
Spike chuckled sadly. "And your loving heart."
Giles smiled at that comment and his eyes drifted shut.
Spike listened to that heart falter and stutter to a stop.
"Sleep well, luv."
End